#i'm so behind my own schedule it's ridiculous

[hanatatami]

Siegfried with the widdershins color palette would be really cool!

I remember someone telling me like half a year after I started playing, almost two years ago, lol everyone has Siegfried you can get him from the tutorial even!!! I got him like three months ago ?_? Where was he hiding

This was one of the requests I did for this palette challenge! Thank you everyone who sent me their request!

[haasegawa]

.

[cjlouwho]

Make It Ours

aka the one where Tommy asks Buck to move in

It started a little ridiculously. Buck didn't usually decorate his place for Halloween, but in his excitement over Bobby being back he'd gotten way too much for the firehouse and had a lot left over. So he took some paper bats home and hung them from his ceiling.

That should have been the end of it.

“We've got enough candy for a small army, I'm sure,” Buck said, resting his head on Tommy's chest, a hand softly rubbing over his pec.

“We don't really have any kids that come out to Harbor. A few of the kids whose parents are on shift will stop by, but that's about it.”

“Were you a Halloween fan growing up?” Buck asked, chills running up his spine as Tommy's fingers massaged his scalp.

“Oh yeah. We didn't really have the money to afford costumes, but I'd make stuff from old sheets or clothes that didn't fit me anymore. There was one year where-” Tommy stopped suddenly, and Buck looked up at him to see him staring out over the loft. “Are your bats animatronic?” he asked.

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

Tommy nodded his head in their direction. “They're moving.”

“Oh,” Buck glanced back briefly. “Probably the air coming on. Makes them swing sometimes.”

Tommy halfway settled back into the bed, but it didn't last very long, because soon enough one of those “decorations” started flying directly into the bedroom. Then there was another, and another.

“Evan, you have bats!” Tommy exclaimed.

“I- oh my God, I have bats!”

Ironically, Tommy did not love all things that flew. Buck had known this since they went to the zoo two months into their relationship and ventured into the butterfly exhibit. That's when he saw Tommy dripping with sweat, barely taking a breath and clutching Buck's hand until he asked what was wrong.

And now, watching a 6'2 man made mostly out of muscle race to put on a shirt and shorts, foregoing underwear completely, so he could duck out of the loft with a yelp was truly fascinating.

The fact that he only stopped briefly to give Buck a kiss and tell him to grab his things and meet him at his place was the icing on the cake.

That man was inside me twenty minutes ago, Buck thought, a baby bat swooping above him. He felt nothing but pride.

Within an hour, he was bringing a suitcase and work duffel into Tommy's place. Tommy, on his part, had emptied him two extra drawers to go along with the one he already had there. He'd made space for him in the bathroom as well, and cleared a section of the kitchen counter because, “I figured you'd bring some of your cooking stuff with you.”

He wasn't wrong.

It took a few weeks for the bat issue to be resolved, due to the fact that Buck's landlord was out of town and no one else seemed to know what to do.

Once the place had been cleared of the bats, it took extra time for Buck to be able to air out his place and clean the droppings that had been so graciously left behind.

It didn't help that he had a pretty busy schedule, taking extra shifts before he knew he'd have a bat problem.

Eventually, Buck ran out of reasons to keep himself at Tommy's place.

One morning, as he got ready for his 24 and Tommy got ready for his 48, he decided it was time. “I think my place is now free and clear of everything the bats left behind,” he said, pouring coffee into Tommy's travel mug, then swapping it out for his own. “I'll be able to pick up all my stuff after my shift and get out of your hair.”

“Hm," Tommy hummed. "You should just move in here." It was so nonchalant it sounded the same as when he ordered his usual from the taco bar down the street.

Buck froze mid pour. “I- I should what?”

“Move in with me,” he repeated with a shrug, “if you want.” He walked over to Buck and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Think about it, Babe. I gotta go. Love you.”

“Yeah, I- I... I love you too.”

Tommy grabbed his mug off the counter and headed out the door, leaving Buck feeling like a deer in headlights.

Part of him wanted to chase Tommy out the door and ask, “How dare you ask so casually?!” The other part was eternally grateful Tommy exited briskly and gave him time to think it over.

Because, wasn't it too soon? He'd only ever done this moving in together thing one other time, and that wasn't exactly for a good reason.

They'd only said I love you for the last couple months. The words still sounded new, still made his heart swell every time they came out of Tommy's mouth. Still blushed when he said it back.

And did Tommy actually mean it? He did have a dry sense of humor that was sometimes easy to miss. Maybe this was one of those times. It was just a joke and he was meant to brush it off with a laugh.

He wasn't sure how long he actually stood there with a half filled mug of coffee in front of him, but eventually his phone dinged and pulled him out of his thoughts.

Stop panicking. Yes, I meant it. Seriously, just think about it.

Buck rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that rose on his face.

Hate you. Be safe.

He only had to wait a few seconds for a reply.

Love you too. You be safer.

*****

“I'm kind of freaking out,” Buck said as Maddie grabbed her lunch from the fridge.

“Why are you freaking out?”

“Tommy asked me to move in with him.”

She paused briefly, eyebrows going up as she stood at the counter. “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah. Wh- Why really? You think it's too soon, don't you? It's too soon. That's what I thought when he asked, well suggested is more like it. He suggested I move in, and then told me to think about it, and then he left for work and then I left for work. And he told me not to panic and that he actually meant it, but-”

“Buck, I didn't mean anything by my really,” she interrupted, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Honestly, I figured that was gonna happen once you stayed with him during the whole bat thing.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “I- I mean, you did?”

“You already spend more time at his place than your own. The bats were taken care of, what, almost a week ago?”

“Yeah.”

“And how many nights have you stayed at your place since then?”

“Well... Well, I had to work a couple of those days,” he tried to reason, “and then it made more sense to go to his place because we wanted to see each other but we were both tired from work.”

“You don't have to explain yourself, Buck,” she assured him. “I'm only saying it's not actually all that surprising.”

When Buck didn't look any more relieved than when he'd come into the call center, Maddie continued, “Have you made a pro/con list?”

He pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and laid it on the countertop for Maddie to take. “Of course I did.”

She picked it up and read it over. “Great butt is number three? Did not need to know that.”

“It- It's a very detailed list,” he replied seriously.

“I can see that,” she agreed. “Although I can't help but notice there are no actual cons on this list.” She slid the paper back to him.

“That's why I'm freaking out.”

“Is this a bi crisis?” Josh asked, walking into the break room. “Because, if so, I feel like I should be involved. Also, I've been listening and I have something to say. May I?”

Buck nodded his head, resting his hands on the countertop. “Please. I- I could use all the help I can get.”

“Great. First of all, why are you trying to talk yourself out of it?”

“Because... Because, seven months ago I didn't even know I was bi, and then there was Tommy. And it's been great. He's funny, and kind, and he listens, and he's so hot-"

"Okay," Maddie waved for him to move on.

"Even when we argued, you know, we stuck around and worked it out. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. It's the happiest relationship I've ever been in.”

“God, this sounds awful,” Josh deadpanned.

“Yeah, listen, Buck, if you don't want him I'll take him,” Maddie added with a smile. “I don't think Howie would mind.”

Buck grinned. “I'm just saying, it all seems so fast. I keep trying to think of reasons to say no, or wait a few more months, but I- I can't.”

“Okay, maybe you can't think of a reason to say no, because there's no good reason to say no,” Josh replied. “How's it been staying with him while the bats took over your place?”

“It's... It's been great. I thought there would be a big adjustment, but there really wasn't. He hasn't seemed bothered by my stuff being there, and it's been nice having someone to, ya know, come home to,” he added, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“Have you had any of the big conversations yet?” Maddie asked. “You know, kids, marriage, stuff like that?”

“Mhm. We agree on everything.”

Josh glanced at Maddie before replying. “I really don't see the problem here, Buck.”

“You don't think it's too soon?”

“I think,” Josh sighed. “I think life is really short, which you probably know better than anybody. And if Tommy makes you as happy as it sounds like he does, then you're the only one stopping you from that happiness.”

Buck rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a deep breath. “Sometimes, I still feel like a fraud,” he admitted. “Like it all came too easy. You know, I- I've heard how rough it was for Tommy to come out and all the crap he went through for years. I figure out I like guys and get a boyfriend in the same day, six months later he's asking me to move in and I can picture my entire life with him.”

“I think that's your brain messing with you,” Josh said. “Because to me, it sounds like you've had thirty-three years of searching for something that feels real, and good, and settled. And you've found it with Tommy.”

Maddie nodded. “I agree. He's good to you, Evan. Everyone can see you two love each other. I can honestly say I've never seen you happier or more sure of yourself. You don't need to doubt that. You need to let yourself have a win.”

A smile started to grow on Buck's face. He was pretty sure he'd already made up his mind, but there was still one thing that worried him. “What if it doesn't work out?”

“Then you do the opposite of what you're about to do,” Josh answered simply, “and you move back out.”

*****

Tommy already knew Buck was at his place before he got inside. The giant Jeep in his driveway was always a dead giveaway.

Half of him expected Buck's things to be neatly packed up by the door, ready to move back into his loft until his lease was officially up.

The other half expected him to be sitting on the couch with a downcast look on his face that said I'm not ready to move in with you without having to actually say it.

What he didn't expect was the door to swing back on him due to it slamming into boxes.

Once he managed to hold the door open and scoot inside, he looked around at well over twenty boxes that were littered around the entryway of his place, leading into the living room.

“Evan?” he called out, a smile already on his face.

“Here!” he exclaimed, exiting Tommy's bedroom and hurrying down the hall. “Here, I'm here! So-” Buck paused briefly to give Tommy a peck on the lips, then continued through the maze of boxes as he headed for the kitchen, Tommy following behind. “This isn't everything, obviously, but I don't actually think I'll be bringing all that much from my place. The bats pooped on a lot. Like, a whole lot. Plus, I like your furniture. The kitchen will have to have some new appliances, but I already ordered what the bats, you know, pooped on. You need to let me know what appliances have a family history for you- if that's a thing- before I throw them out. Some of this stuff is, well, it's terrible. Why don't you sharpen your knives, Tommy? Mind blowing. I know the boxes are kinda a mess, but I didn't want to unpack without you because that feels like me just taking over, ya know, and I don't wanna-”

Buck was stopped by Tommy grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him in close. He wrapped his arms around Buck's waist, and Buck's arms rested over Tommy's shoulders.

“I'm guessing this is a yes to moving in?” Tommy asked, nose scrunching up in a smile.

Buck let out a deep breath, grinning back. “Yes. It- It's a yes.”

“You didn't freak out too much?”

“I didn't freak out at all,” Buck protested weakly.

“Evan.”

“Okay, I freaked out a little,” he replied, ducking his head, “but not for the reasons you think.”

Tommy tilted Buck's chin so their eyes met. “What reasons?”

“I... The fact there wasn't a reason to say no. I- I freaked because it felt like it should feel too soon, but it didn't. It doesn't. It feels right.”

That's when Tommy leaned in for a kiss far less chaste than the one Buck had given him when he opened the door.

“Do we have to start unpacking tonight?” Tommy asked when they parted, resting their foreheads against one another.

Buck shook his head. He brought his hands to the nape of Tommy's neck and drew him in again, his tongue parting Tommy's lips. Clumsily, they began making their way toward their bedroom without letting one another go.

“Maybe we could work on christening the place then?” Tommy suggested, his nose brushing up against Buck's cheek. “For good luck or whatever.”

“Mmm,” Buck moaned, grabbing at the hem of Tommy's shirt and pulling it over his head quickly, tossing it on top of a box. “You have the best ideas, roomie.”

Tommy snorted at that, his head tossing back in laughter. “God, I love you.”

Somehow, they managed to make it to the bedroom, and Buck gently pushed Tommy down before crawling over him, leaning down to whisper against his lips, “I love you too.”

[it-was-summer]

Nevertheless (I'm In Love With You)

A/N: Basically, it's a broken-up little fluff piece! This is after Season 15, but I'm pretending that he is a full-time professor who occasionally assists the team with cases. Most of the time, professors DO NOT sub for each other, but hey its fanfiction man. THESE ARE MY BARBIES!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Link to the Ao3: Nevertheless (I'm In Love With You) Link to the: Yee olde masterlist You are on: Enemies (if you can call it that) -> Friends (Associates at best) Tags: Use of She/Her pronouns (I apologize), slight enemies, genuinely a short and sweet little slice before y'all let me cook, mentions of victimology, violence, forensics mentioned FOR A MOMENT, ugly Christmas sweater? College talk? Embezzlement mention guys!

Genre: Slight Enemies to friends to lovers. ForensicsProfessor!Reid x ForensicsProfessor!Reader

Plot: Your new coworker, Dr. Spencer Reid, has a talent for avoiding teaching responsibilities, thereby leaving the duties to you. However, forgiveness is easily given when he makes a little effort.

Word Count: 2,966

Enemies (If You Can Call It That)

You didn’t like this new professor. It wasn’t because of change– you usually welcomed change, especially if that change was a new person coming into your life. People typically describe you as kind, passionate, and empathetic. But you strongly disliked fickle people, fair weather, and unpredictable people never sat right with you. You arrive at events on time, and the older you get, the more you view tardiness as a sign of slight disrespect. But this was on another level. 

From your understanding, three professors were teaching Victimology 6113 this Fall semester: you, Dr. Matthew, and Dr. Reid. Sometimes, you would teach introductory courses— Criminology, Criminal Justice, the basics. However, this Fall semester, you were only teaching three: Victimology 6113, Violence and the Family 2184, and Psychopathology 6104. 

Dr. Reid and Dr. Matthew taught their Victimology courses on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You had opted for the other, slightly longer option, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sure, you still had an influx of graduate students, but not as much as your male counterparts. Your classes were an hour longer to compensate for the lost time of only having classes twice a week instead of three. 

You liked that kind of schedule, the ability to have more time on Fridays or Mondays to grade papers or fix lesson plans. You had kept it consistent since taking up the position two years ago and were happy to keep it that way. 

So… when Dr. Matthew asked you to fill in for one of Dr. Reid’s Victimology classes on a random Wednesday, you were initially happy to help. You didn’t mind helping out your slightly new coworker. He had done seminars at the university in the past, and when he left the Behavioral Analysis Unit, he took up a position teaching Forensic Psychology. That was all you knew about him, though, other than his name and BAU reputation. 

His graduate students were learning the same material as yours, so it wasn’t difficult to fill in– this one time. 

Then, Dr. Matthew asked for assistance again—this time for an afternoon Friday class. The last time you covered for Dr. Reid, you assumed it was a one-off— a coworker needing a hand. You didn’t think of it when you agreed for the second time. 

Then there was a third…, a fourth, a fifth, and eventually a sixth. You had tried to get out of the fifth time, deciding that enough was enough and that Dr. Reid would have to find his own substitute and not let Dr. Matthew do all his dirty work for him.  However, when you used the excuse that you were behind on lesson plans, Dr. Matthew simply said you could borrow some of his material if needed. 

It wasn’t even halfway through the fall semester, and by the end of September, you had covered at least fourteen classes for this man– your coworker with whom you barely had a relationship. It was getting ridiculous. 

Consistent behavior reflects character, and all you could think of as you walked to his classroom that fifteenth time was Dr. Reid’s character was lacking consideration. It almost seemed cruel at this point. 

At first, you thought you were being dramatic, but then it hit you. You were doing extra work for a class that wasn’t yours—answering questions for students who weren’t in your cohorts. You had every right to be upset with the situation! So, it was natural that your feelings for your supposed coworker were… cold. 

When you did see him, in faculty meetings or passing, you kept your gaze off him with a fast pace in your step. A small, more rational voice in your head suggested that you were being rude or petty. But the more you thought about it, the more you decided that you weren’t. You were a graduate professor with your PhD, the same as Dr. Reid. You had the same amount of classes as him, similar students, and experience in the field (though, in this case, yours was forensically based, but experience nonetheless). You could keep a schedule; you were rarely tardy and rarely canceled classes unless absolutely necessary. Why couldn’t he do the same? 

When October faded into November, you prepared for busier office hours. You were unaware that Dr. Reid did as well. You were also surprised that his office was across the hall from yours. His blinds were closed, but his light was on, and you could see the occasional shadow of him and a student. 

Bitter thoughts surfaced as you stared at the shadows in his office. His students would indeed have questions; he was never teaching! You bit the inside of your cheek at the nasty thought and hung your head for a moment, instead trying to focus on a small stack of ungraded papers. 

Lost in thought, the knock on your door frame made you jump. With wide eyes, you found yourself staring at one of Dr. Reid’s students, and behind him was Dr. Reid himself. “Excuse me,” the student said gently, entering your office. “You mentioned some victim advocacy programs in DC the other day while subbing for Dr. Reid, and I was wondering if you could recommend a program?” 

You pause, thinking briefly before your lips form a slight ‘o’, and nod, “Yes, of course!” You grab a pen and sticky note, writing as you speak, “DC SAFE has a great volunteer program!” You smile as you write the number of an associate of yours who primarily talks with the volunteers. 

Walking around your desk, you hand the sticky note to the student. “Just call that number and tell them I sent you,” You smile as the student thanks you and walks away, but after a brief moment, you realize Dr. Reid is still in the hallway, just staring at you. His big brown eyes seem more hazel under the fluorescent lights of the hallway, and he’s very tall. Was he this tall the last time you saw him? Then again, you don’t think he has ever been close enough for you to notice. 

You force an awkward smile, “Can I help you?” 

He swallows, his brown eyes nervously scanning your face. “No, I mean, yes. I didn’t—" he sighs softly. “I was unaware that your office was near mine—your office hours differ from mine.” 

You draw your lips into a tight line, nodding as your hand motions to your desk. “Yes, we appear to be neighbors.” 

Then, more silence. You watch as he nervously shifts his weight on his feet, his brows knit together, and he opens his mouth to say something when one of your students pokes her head around the corner. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but could I… go over some material with you?” 

You feel your tight chest lighten as you nod, barely glancing at Dr. Reid as you reach for your door. “Have a nice day, Dr. Reid.” You mutter as your student shuffles past you, and the door shuts in his face. 

The knot in Spencer’s stomach twists as he stands outside Dr. Matthew’s office. All those months ago, all Dr. Matthew had told him about his first absence was that he had it covered. For some reason, Spencer assumed that Dr. Matthew would teach his classes if the BAU needed a consultation. He did not know that it had been you. 

He wasn’t bothered that it was you, no. You were brilliant, competent, and courteous. He observed that his students were grasping concepts well, even with his absences, which he could now credit to your teaching abilities. You excelled at your work. He had praised Dr. Matthew when it had been you all along!

The student visiting him during his office hours had revealed it to him, and everything started to make sense. You were polite but obviously avoiding him. He had taken note of it in September but thought he was simply overthinking it. 

He bites his lip gently as he waits for the door to open. His eyes meet Dr. Matthew’s, and the older man frowns. “Spencer, is there a case? I’ve told you before, that you needn’t—” 

“No,” Spencer says, holding up his hands. “I just wanted to talk to you about who’s been covering my classes.” 

Dr. Matthew looks bewildered as he mutters your name in a confused tone, asking, “What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, technically, there isn’t a problem.” Spencer watches how Dr. Matthew’s face relaxes, “I was just unaware she was covering for me.” 

“Ah, well, not to worry, she’s very good– wonderful!” He fixes his last choice of words and repeats it, “Wonderful!” Before Spencer can say more, Dr. Matthew shakes his finger– an idea brewing. “You know, she’s around your age! I’m sure the two of you could be great friends– might have plenty in common.” 

“Right, well I–” 

The sharp ringing of the older man’s phone cuts Spencer off. Pulling it out, he frowns and holds up a finger before saying quickly, “Sorry, I have to take this.” Then he retreats into his office and shuts the door behind him, leaving Spencer alone in the hall. 

Spencer finds himself frowning at the dark oak door before returning to his office in defeat. By the time he’s back in his office, he can see you’re gone, and his apology will have to wait another time. 

It’s a Wednesday, and you can feel it in the air—the dreaded anticipation of Dr. Matthew knocking on your door and asking for another favor. You struggle to find an excuse. You’re ahead of grading, lesson plans, everything. You puff out your cheeks as you enter the lecture hall, passing empty seats as you approach the front of the room. 

Setting your bag on the desk, you pull a chair up and get to work setting up. Then… you spot a yellow sticky note stuck to the whiteboard. At first, you brush it off as another teacher forgetting to clean up after themselves. Your fingers pluck it away from the whiteboard, ready to toss it in the trash, and then you see your name written in messy handwriting. 

Your eyes narrow as you bring the note closer to read it. Your name is scrawled in the top left corner, followed by a comma and ‘I truly appreciate you stepping in to cover my classes right before finals. Though it may not be much, there is a chocolate croissant in my office fridge with your name on the bag.– Dr. Spencer Reid’

You blink, then reread it, and again, and again. Then you find yourself briefly smiling, then frowning, then shaking your head, and tossing the note out. Your eyes briefly stay glued to the note in the bin before you finish setting up for class. 

Spencer is happy to see that said chocolate croissant is missing from his mini-fridge when he’s in his office the next day. He moves to sit at his desk when he sees a pink note on the back of his chair. 

‘Dr. Reid, Bribery is low class– no matter how delicious.’ 

Spencer feels his lips quirk up into a smile, holding the note in his hand as he sits. Then, he finds himself doing something surprising, saving it. He places the pink sticky note in his desk drawer, pulling out his yellow sticky notes while he’s at it.

His foot taps under his desk momentarily, and his pen hovers over the colorful paper. He writes a quick message and finds himself quickly waltzing over to his door, opening it, peeking his head to scan the hall, and gently sticking the note on your office door as fast as possible. 

Friday, the construction near your apartment makes it too hard to concentrate, so you head in to get some well-needed work done. When you see the yellow note, it’s barely hanging onto the door, but you can now place the messy handwriting as Dr. Reid’s. 

‘What form of corruption is considered high class?’

You huff out a laugh as you open your office door, tucking the note into a drawer without thinking. You’re eager to turn on your desktop, but as you grade assignments, your mind wanders. 

Your eyes trail over to the pink notes on the edge of your desk. You glance at your screen, then the paper. Your intrusive thoughts win, your fingers wrapping around a pen as you scribble an answer to Dr. Reid. Your tongue swipes across your bottom lip as you run across the hall to place the note on his door. 

Spencer finds himself, surprisingly, excited on Monday morning as he spots a pink note on his office door. He doesn’t even unlock his door. Instead, he stands reading the note with an amused smile. You wrote the word ‘Embezzlement’ in large, neat letters and nothing more. 

However, due to the lack of words, he finds it unnecessary to write a note back. Though, he supposes he’s not obliged to. He tucks the pink note with the other one at his desk and works on some end-of-semester grades. However, his mind occasionally wonders about the office across the hall and if you’re inside. 

At the end of the year faculty ‘party,’ Spencer finds himself feeling rather tongue-tied. Dressed in a thick grey sweater, he finds himself stuck to the wall. He misses the team, and for a second, he debates texting Penelope or Emily to see if they can save him from this situation. But he knows that he needs to socialize despite it never being his strong suit. Personally, he thinks that he’s gotten better at it. 

His spot against the wall makes it easy to spot Dr. Matthew and his wife as they discuss something with another couple. He gives up on that route and searches for his friend in the philosophy department. Instead, his eyes land on you. 

Unlike most staff, you’re happily dressed in a festive-looking sweater. He swears that he can see bells and tinsel hanging off it as you talk with another woman excitedly. Spencer lets out a short laugh; it reminds him of something Penelope would wear. 

You’re covering your mouth as you laugh, your eyes sweeping across the room as your giggles shake your shoulders lightly, landing on Dr. Reid for a second. Maybe it is the approaching holidays or the relief that you’re getting a break; you find yourself gracing him with a bright smile. 

Spencer feels a smile spread on his face at the sight and starts approaching you. When he gets to your side, you’re alone. “Hello,” 

You tilt your head up to look up at him, “Hello,” 

This is more awkward than you thought it would be. 

Spencer finds that he didn’t think this through, a surprising development, as he quickly says, “Ugly sweaters originated in the 50’s,” 

Your shoulders fall with that, eyes going soft as you mutter a quiet, “You think my sweater is ugly?” 

“What? No, no, that’s not–” He panics, his cheeks flushing slightly before he sees the growing smirk on your face. “You’re messing with me.” 

“And enjoying it deeply,” 

“You’re cruel,” 

“Payback, I suppose.” 

Spencer feels a stab of guilt in his chest with that, and he sucks in a light breath, “I do appreciate all your help this semester. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you, I will gladly do it.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, the conversation dies off for a second. You watch as Spencer glances around the room, reminiscent of how you looked two years ago. You bite the inside of your cheek. “I don’t hate you,” you sigh out, defeated. 

You were easy to please, and he had done just that– pleased you. You didn’t hold grudges, and even if you did, watching him now–talking with him really– you knew he didn’t mean any harm by it. 

His eyebrows shoot up, hazel eyes looking into yours, “Did you?” 

You let out a soft ‘mm’ as you flip your palm up and down, “Perhaps, briefly, pre-croissant.” 

Spencer let out a groan, eyes casting downwards as he nods, “I deserve that,” 

“Water under the bridge,” You decide, watching his hazel eyes leave the ground and meet yours with a hopeful glint.

For a moment, you focus on the color of his eyes. A deep honeyed color at first glance, but hints of cool-toned greens prove that idea wrong. Spencer swallows, wondering why he keeps finding himself without words when he’s around you. Perhaps he is scared of saying the wrong thing, further fracturing your relationship. 

“Would it be alright if we exchanged numbers?” You say, watching his eyes go wide. 

“For?” He hates how the question sounds coming off his tongue but relaxes when you smile. 

“Dr. Matthew saved your ass,” He’s still confused, and you can tell by the way his eyebrows furrow. “He told me that you occasionally lend a hand to the BAU, thus explaining the absenteeism.” 

He lets out a quiet ‘ah’ as you stare at him. "But I’d like to communicate better with you in the future. Hence, I am requesting a number exchange.” 

“I don’t plan on repeating–” 

“Nevertheless, just in case,” You insist softly, taking your phone out of your pocket and opening it for him. “I’m not the biggest fan of surprise classes.” 

Spencer nods as he carefully takes the phone out of your hands, careful not to touch your hands. “Of course,” he says, returning the phone after sending himself a hello message. 

You tuck it away as you nod, catching him smiling at you playfully. “What?” 

“Does this make us friends?” 

“Acquaintances, associates at best.” 

“Noted,” He says with a short laugh, watching you shake your head with a broad grin.

[giddyfatherchris]

📱✏️skz reactions — how they react/comfort you (when you’re going through a rough patch with a friend)

| including. changbin, seungmin, i.n

type. requested

warnings. none

a/n. i loved writing these honestly they gave me so much feelings lolol i only wrote it for three members (as per requested) but if getting the reactions from the other members would be something interesting pls let me knoww🤭 again, thank you so much for the request my angel love ya xxx @solisyeah

hyunjin, han & felix

bang chan & lee know

Changbin

As soon as he saw the words on the screen, his heart tightened in his chest. The sorrow he could feel from you pierced his heart. He knew how sensitive you were, and how hard you tried to make things work for everyone. To hear gossip behind your back and to learn that some of your so-called 'friends' were the source of it hurt more than you could explain. He felt so angry at those people for treating you this way it made it hard to concentrate. So, even if you didn’t ask him, he cancelled his workout, gathered his things, grabbed his keys, and headed out. 

When you heard three little knocks on your door, confusion made you tilt your head on the side with questions swiveling in your mind. In your crying and saddened haze, had you forgotten you ordered your favorite comfort snacks? You headed for the door, wrapped in a blanket, your face the only part of your anatomy visible. You cracked the door open and felt your heart skip a beat when your gaze met with the sight of Changbin, holding a plastic bag with an adorable smile on his face.

"I heard my angel was not feeling too good. Couldn't leave you alone in your apartment now, could I?" he explained with a nervous smile before sheepishly adding, "I got us some snacks."

Your eyes filled to the brim with tears as you pulled him inside and into your blanket for a hug. You nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his subtle cologne. 

"Hey, y/n, look at me."

You reluctantly pulled away to look at him. He took like a punch to the gut the saddened look on your face. He lifted his hands to cup your cheeks and almost melted at how adorably they pushed under your eyes. 

"I'm here. It'll be okay. Let's go cuddle now." He nuzzled your nose with his own and kissed your cheek as he nudged you towards your living room.

When Changbin looked at the time on his phone for the first time of the evening, he realized it was now very late. Yu were asleep on his shoulder, looking so peaceful. You had spent the night eating the snacks he brought and talking about the shitty situation you were in. He had helped you prepare a few speeches and things to say once you would be confronted with the concerned people again. What started as stressful preparations ended with a lot of laughter as Changbin started making ridiculous impressions to help you practice. Once you both settled down, you decided to put a movie on, and not even halfway through it, you had fallen asleep, completely extenuated from the emotional turmoil. 

The young man looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes. He promised himself he would never allow anyone to hurt you if he could help it. Softly, he pushed a strand of your hair away from your face. His heart almost exploded when you softly grumbled and wiggled closer to him.

Yes, he would always be there for you, he swore as he kissed your forehead.

Seungmin

He was utterly furious, there was no other way to put it. The way your lip started shaking when he finally got you to explain the situation to him almost drove him crazy. 

He paced in his room, even after seeing you, even after you texted him and promised you were now okay. 

Since he had a schedule the next day and would need to leave early, you had met up at a cafe after work. You hadn't even sat for a second that he noticed you seemed off. You avoided meeting his eyes and lacked the usual cheery enthusiasm he pretended annoyed him. For a second, sickening fear held power over Seungmin’s body. Maybe you were here for an entirely different purpose. Maybe you were here to have a hard discussion about your relationship? He felt sick at the thought, but tried pushing it away as he pushed you for answers. Once you explained, all fear disappeared and was replaced with simmering protective rage.

You seemed to feel better after admitting you had a messy fight with some friends, and when you kissed him goodbye, you did look better. Every evidence pointed to it, but still.

He was the one who couldn't let go. Let go of the look in your eyes when you said your friends were turning against you for no apparent reason or without allowing you to discuss it. 

That's why he was still pacing in his room at 9:00 pm. That's why, at 9:10 pm, he grabbed his bags and headed for your apartment. 

You welcomed him with a happy, but confused expression. He looked so riled up, so angry. You couldn’t understand why he was having such a reaction.

"Because I love you," he blurted out, "and I don't understand why someone would willingly make you feel this way. Make you hurt like this. You've been handling this so well, and as much as I am proud of you, it also infuriates me. I wish we could punch them."

His confession made you look at him with big eyes and a slightly opened mouth. You knew he loved you, but he didn't necessarily say it as bluntly as he did now. And especially with what you were going through, it felt so good to hear. You walked over to him with a small smile and hugged him, feeling so thankful for how deeply he cared. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around your body, resting his cheek on your head. 

"I love you too, Minnie." 

He lost a breath and brought you closer. "I just don't like seeing you like this," he grumbled through your hair.

You pulled back to look at him with amused eyes, not hating this protective side of him, when you our gaze focused on the clock on the wall for a second. "Oh my god, it's almost 11:00 pm. You have a schedule tomorrow! You have to go home and rest!"

"If you think I'm going anywhere tonight, you're fooling yourself. I brought my bags and told Chan I was coming here. So, he will pick me up tomorrow."

I.N

Your voice on the phone had sounded so distant. I.N knew something was wrong when you said you couldn't hang out with him and the boys tonight. You hadn't mentioned anything in particular, but he knew about the situation you were going through with one of your friends. Every protective instinct awakened as he debated whether to leave it alone or run to you. It took about five minutes of his knee bouncing up and down relentlessly at the restaurant for Lee Know to tell him to go.

"I don't know what's going on with Y/n, but you should go." I.N looked at his hyung with unsure and questioning eyes. "Go to her," repeated Lee Know, his disinterested manner replaced with calm seriousness for once.

That's all it took for I.N to run to your apartment. He sent you a quick message to warn you of his arrival, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight he was met with when you finally opened the door. 

Your hair was messy, and you wore some of his old, wrinkly clothes. With dark circles under your eyes, you looked like a ghost of yourself. His heart tightened at the sight. 

"Innie?," you mumbled before he stormed inside, bringing you close to his chest, head resting on yours. 

Once settled on the sofa, you finally explained the whole situation. He knew there was some misunderstanding with one of your friends at work. What he didn't know was that it had evolved to devastating heights. Your 'friend' had started bad-mouthing you to everyone, trying to make it seem like you were the villain. The worst is that you had already apologized and admitted your responsibility in the situation, hoping they would do the same and it would clear up. Instead, the other person had laughed in your face and turned their back on you. 

Losing that horrible person wasn't what stressed you out. It was the fact that this was all happening at work, and they were handling it so unprofessionally. They kept turning some of your coworkers against you and tried to give you a bad reputation. You had started to feel worried about your job and doubled the amount of work you got done to thwart their undermining. Hence, the rough-looking appearance and how distant you had been.

I.N listened to it all, feeling his anger grow with each passing second. It took all in him not to suggest he visited them, but he knew you would hate that. So he kept his mouth shut, softly played with your hair, and tried to be as supportive as possible. Still, he was determined to help you at least a little and suggested you organize a meeting with your boss the next day where you could professionally explain the situation so he wouldn't get any wrong idea from the wrong people. 

Once done with preparing that, you were much calmer. Your rational boyfriend’s mind having once more proven incredibly useful. Tears had finally stopped strolling down your face, and for the first time in the evening, you looked at him with a small smile adorning your lips. 

"Were the boys mad you left in such a hurry?" you quietly asked.

"Of course not. Lee Know hyung was the one who encouraged me to go."

"And you left just like that? For me?"

His gaze settled on the uncertainty of your traits, and he felt his heart soften. "And I would do it over and over again."

The shine in your eyes took his breath away. He stroked the side of your cheek and pulled your head down so it would rest comfortably on his shoulder. "Please, whenever something like that happens, tell me. I want to be there for you. I want to support you through anything, but I can't do that if you won't tell me."

You nodded, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you with my problems. Especially since you were off tonight." 

"Tssk, don't say such nonsense. I've been with these guys almost every day for the past six years, this feels like a breath of fresh air.

You chuckled and nuzzled in his neck, "I love you, jeongin."

"I love you more," he whispered before linking his lips with yours.

[vivwritesfics]

Jester Stole His Thorny Crown

Chapter Nine

He never had a choice in his life. His dreams were nothing more that that. Dreams. But then he met a lounge singer at his brother club and everything changed.

Mafia!Au

1.4K

Warnings: slightly suggestive but not really

Series Masterlist

Esteban Ocon was bringing her dinner. She hadn't met him before, but he'd been in the lounge once or twice. His height made him unmissable.

But why the hell was he bringing her dinner?

"Charles said to bring this to you," he said as he placed it on the table in front of her.

She stared at him for a moment, eyebrows raised. And then she leaned forward in her seat and checked inside of the bag. "Charles asked you to bring this to me?"

When he nodded, a grin lit up her face. "Holy fuck, that's so cute," she mumbled and pulled the food from the bag. "Where is he tonight, anyway?"

Esteban shrugged his shoulders. "Doing something for Lorenzo, I think."

It continued on in this manner for a few weeks. Charles would bring her dinner and, if he couldn't, Esteban would (she'd gotten to know Esteban pretty well since he started bringing her food. He was funny, somewhat easy to get along with).

But her favourite evenings were the ones with Charles. He'd get there early for his own piano lesson (could you call it a lesson if the piano ended up abandoned and she ended up on his lap?) and run out for food between her performances.

She'd developed a habit of running late for the second half of her performance. But Charles was just so convincing when his fingers were dancing to the side and hooking her underwear to the side.

But Arthur was starting to catch on. Arthur was starting to get annoyed.

It wasn't often he got to watch her perform. She might have been one of his best friends, sure, but he was a busy guy. But every time he'd been at a performance recently, they were behind schedule, by a lot.

He couldn't pretend he didn't see his brother making his way backstage between every performance. Plus, the lounge was getting more complaints than normal (which wasn't a lot of complaints, but Arthur was used to none).

It was a Thursday when he finally decided to follow his brother backstage. He saw the small pastry container Charles was carrying (because, face it, they couldn't have take out every single night) and followed him to the back rooms.

"Aha!"

It didn't have to be such a dramatic, "gotcha" moment. But Arthur was "French", everything he did was dramatic. "I knew it!"

They weren't even doing anything. But the two were still like deer caught in headlights, frozen as Charles went to open the pastry box.

"Arthur," she started. "What?"

He gestured to the two of them. "I knew it! I knew this!"

Her eyebrows were raised and she spared a look at Charles before turning her attention back to Arthur. "Knew that your brother sometimes brings me pastries as a way of thanking me for the piano lessons I've given him?"

Arthur's face dropped. "What? No," he insisted with a shake of his head. "I know about you two, I know that you're doing the nasty."

She repeated the words back to him, just so that he could hear how ridiculous they sounded.

As funny as keeping up this charade was, Charles was becoming bored. Not bored in the sense that he wanted to find something else to do. But why shouldn't Arthur know? The sooner Arthur knew, the sooner he could bring her around to meet his maman. Only good things could come from Arthur knowing, he thought.

So, Charles spoke up, interrupting them. "Would you be angry?" He asked his little brother. "If there was something happening between us?" His hand fell into her own and he laced their fingers together.

And suddenly, Arthur straightened up his posture. He'd expected Charles to like her, of course. But this was all happening very first. And it was affecting his business, and that was what really got to Arthur.

"You guys can do whatever you want," he said honestly, "but don't let it affect my lounge, or I'm kicking both your asses out of here." He checked the time on his watch. "Speaking of, you need to get back on stage."

She stood, held her hand to her head and saluted. "Yes sir," she said in jest.

Before she could run off to the stage, Charles had a gentle grip on her wrist. He used his free hand to tear a piece of the muffin away from the rest and held it up to her mouth. Gratefully, she took it. "Love you," she said through the mouthful as she fixed her makeup, but it came out more like 'wov oo'.

And, as she ran off to the stage, Charles sat back in his seat, staring at the door she had excited through. There was a certain amount of shock on his face as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Don't tell me that's the first time you guys have said it," Arthur mumbled as he sat down opposite his brother. The soft, melodic sounds of the piano filled the room.

Charles swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. It had been a matter of weeks. God, a month and a half ago she'd been terrified of him. Surely she couldn't love him.

But that was what she'd said, wasn't it. She'd said she loved him. Why would she have said that if she hadn't?

"Well," Arthur began as he reached across the table for the rest of the muffin (he couldn't help but be surprised when Charles actually let him take it), "do you love her?"

It wasn't the most comforting thing Arthur could have said. But would telling Charles that she hadn't meant it romantically have made it worse or better? Either way, that wasn't what he said.

Charles didn't answer. He kept his head in his hands as he stared towards the door.

Arthur offered him a piece of muffin (of the muffin Charles had bought). "Relax, she won't be offended if you don't say it back."

"She won't?"

"Probably doesn't realise she's said it."

"She doesn't?"

Arthur gave his brother a sympathetic look. "Come on, let's get you a drink and watch the rest of the show."

***

He'd only had two drinks the night before. And Charles was grateful for that. He wouldn't have survived this meeting with Lorenzo without it.

"You want me to what?"

"Go to Italy," Lorenzo repeated.

For the life of him, Charles couldn't fathom why. The Leclerc family had deals in place with the Ferrari family ever since the first Monaco Grand Prix. They'd never crossed paths again. Not until now, anyway.

"If the Ferrari's think they can screw us over, they've got another thing coming," said Lorenzo. He threw a folder in Charles's direction, one Charles slid into the inside of his jacket.

The Ferrari's were car manufacturers, not a crime family. This might have been the easiest assignment of Charles's life. That was why he found himself running to her apartment, folder still tucked in his jacket.

The 'love you' incident hadn't played on his mind anymore since Arthur had calmed him down. It wasn't a romantic moment, so why should he overthink it? He knocked on the door and waited patiently, keenly aware that he was patient for nobody else.

And then, dressed in pyjamas, she pulled open the door. She barely got a 'good morning' out before Charles was on her, cupping her cheeks as he kissed her.

"Come with me to Italy," he said as he pulled away and pressed his forehead against her own.

Her eyes were lighting up from the very idea of it. "Seriously, Charles? You seriously want to take me to Italy?"

"Of course I do," he answered. "I can get Arthur to get someone in to cover at The Lounge, can get him to give you holiday pay and stuff. Just, let me take you away."

She didn't have to think about it much, did she. "Okay," she said, grin splitting across her face as she nodded. "Okay, yes, take me away, Charles Leclerc." She pushed him onto her sofa and pounced.

Permanent Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool

@rewmuslupin

@prettiest-at-the-party

@hellowgoodbye

@minseok-smaus

@formulaal

@hiireadstuff

@urfavnoirette

@goldenharrysworld

@andydrysdalerogers

@raikkxz

@llando4norris

@evlkking

@lilymurphy03

@hollie911

@customsbyjcg-blog

@honethatty12

@nikfigueiredo

@darleneslane

@not-nyasa

Series Taglist (OPEN): @ninifee1802

@booksandflowrs

@ashy-kit

@weekendlusting

@annispamz

@watermelonworries

@spideybv28

@janeholt03

@barcelonaloverf1life

@ver-lec

@shobaes

@jaydensluv

@bingussthirdtoe

@a-beaverhausen

@doofenshmirtzevil-inc

@charlotte1697

@iamkaku

@arrowheadleadingushome13

@pretty-angel333

@styl1shl1v

[lillaydee]

A New Life

Jackson! Joel Miller / OFC

Starting a new life with each other in Jackson seemed to be going well, until it didn't.

Word Count: 15,272

Just one more story that I am uploading for practice purposes - I have many, many completed stories to upload, but am not that used to Tumblr yet, so it will take time to upload all of them - I'm not sure I will actually upload all of them, even. Right now, I'm just uploading the shorter ones for practice - just until I get used to the site. I will continue uploading the two series I have started uploading every other day - using those to practice scheduling stuff on Tumblr.

This fic also contains the very first smut I've ever written. I'm notoriously bad at it - I blush when I type smut out, so I apologize in advance if the smut is not smutting.

Thank you for those who have chosen to read my little mind worms. I appreciate you so much - there are no words.

WARNINGS: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Communication Failure, Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Angst, Fluff, Non-Smutting Smut, Happy Ending.

They decided to tell Ellie the truth. To say she was infuriated was an understatement, remaining silent throughout the journey back to Jackson. When they walked into the now familiar house. Ellie ran straight upstairs, the aggressive slamming of the door rattling the house, maybe for real, or maybe Joel and Madeleine were too in their heads when it came to the teenager’s wrath at them. Maybe they even deserved it. The two looked at each other, resigned to the teenager’s inevitable mood for the foreseeable future.

“You want to take the master?” Joel asked.

“No, I’ll take the room down here”, Maddie replied.

With that, Joel and Maddie went their separate ways to their respective rooms, closing the doors behind them.

Maddie was bone tired. Funny how the fatigue just set in when your body realized you had finally arrived, safe and sound. She didn’t even bother showering before throwing herself onto the dusty bed. Fuck it, she thought. She slept in the dirt for months. A night or two on a dusty bed wouldn’t hurt her. It seemed Joel and Ellie had the same idea, no sounds of plumbing or running water to be heard. It was sundown, but they could all use the rest. Who cared if they slept for 12 hours? After what they had just been through, they deserved it.

But try as she might, Maddie couldn’t sleep. The room felt suffocating. After almost a year of sleeping out in the open, this felt claustrophobic. Like she was sleeping in a room-sized coffin, but a coffin, nonetheless. She also had gotten used to having Joel and Ellie next to her when sleeping. Now that she was alone, it just felt unsafe, despite the obvious opposite. She tossed and turned, trying to calm her mind enough for sleep to take hold, but her mind kept replaying what happened over the last few days.

How the whole thing didn’t make sense to her, even on the surface. The dilapidated hospital, the lack of staff and resources, the ambitious nature of it all despite the lack of proper procedure and expertise. How could one doctor and two nurses create a cure in these conditions? So, when the doctor confirmed her biggest fear, she reacted. And it seemed Joel found out too, considering he mowed through the entire hospital to get to them. By the time they got out of there, the only people left alive were the three medical professionals, locked in the threadbare operating theatre.

But Ellie couldn’t see it from their point of view, going on and on about how her life was now without purpose, how she could’ve died for something meaningful, how they took that choice away from her. Maddie and Joel kept quiet. They let her say her peace and hoped that one day she would understand how important she had become to them both.

A glance at the clock showed it was nearing midnight. This was getting ridiculous now. Her body was protesting its own indecisiveness. So tired, but too restless and her head too full to sleep. Deciding that rest was vital before she lost her mind, she picked up her pillow and blanket, and went into the living room. Maybe a bigger space will help her breathe easier, and hopefully sleep would claim her. Laying the blanket on the floor, she laid down, looking around the room in the dark. This would be home from now on. She just needed a few days to get used to it, she was sure of it.

Not that time ever made her feel like any place was home anyway. She had spent close to 15 years at the QZ working as a nurse at the FEDRA hospital. But she had never felt at home there, and the fact that she had never agreed with their policies didn’t help. She helped Tess and Joel whenever she could, getting them what they needed from the hospital, helping them make connections so that they could get out when they needed to, keeping a lookout for them, and in return, they helped protect her. But when she was found out, the officer wanted a bribe. Instead of turning her in, maybe he could turn a blind eye, if she would open her legs for him whenever he wanted. When she resisted, he assaulted her, the physical assaults leaving her face black and blue and bloody, eyes so swollen she couldn’t open them properly, the sexual assaults leaving her bleeding, unable to walk for days. She couldn’t leave her apartment for a whole week, and when Tess and Joel found her, they smuggled her out to live with Bill and Frank. For five years, she helped nurse Frank, before finding them in each other’s arms, a goodbye note and a set of instructions on the dining table.

When Joel and Ellie arrived, she decided to go with them, and the rest was history.

A small thud from a pillow thrown next to her own jolted her from her thoughts, Joel standing over her. It seemed he couldn’t sleep either. He laid down next to her, threw his blanket over them both, and now there were two of them unable to sleep instead of one. Their bodies so weary they couldn’t even find the energy to talk, but the unease in their hearts wouldn’t allow them to sleep. After about an hour of them just lying there staring at the ceiling, the stairs creaked. Ellie joined them, lying on Maddie’s other side. Maddie pulled her closer, and covered her with the blanket too, Joel shuffling closer to her on her right.

Within minutes, all three of them were sound asleep.

***

Madeleine spent the next week scrubbing the house top to bottom, Joel fixing whatever needed fixing. Ellie still hadn’t spoken to either of them, spending her time in the backyard cleaning it up. Maria had come by, setting the three of them up with basic needs to start their new life, and jobs for them to contribute. Maddie, obviously, would be helping Dr Marcus Adams at the big house in the center of town used as the clinic. Joel was set up with some constructing duties, as well as patrol, and Ellie was asked to help at the stable after school.

A couple weeks in, the three of them had somewhat settled into a routine. Although Ellie was still obviously extremely angry with the both of them, she stayed close, not knowing anyone in town apart from them. A month in, she had started to make friends, and her silence was replaced by some mumblings letting Joel or Maddie know where she was headed to before storming off, followed by the obligatory slamming of the door. At this point Joel or Maddie had gotten used to her tantrums, both silently agreeing that this was better than her lying dead on that operating table. Joel even made a joke that he should scavenge for new doors just in case she managed to shatter one with all the slamming.

And then there’s the two of them. Their day-to-day life, preparing meals together, doing household chores, dealing with Ellie’s tantrums, felt so right, so normal, that it wasn’t hard to convince herself the three of them were a family. They had breakfast together every day, Ellie storming off as soon as she finished. Joel and Maddie would then follow suit, walking a distance behind her, making sure she arrived at the school safely. Joel would then walk her to the clinic and go to work. After lunch at the mess hall, Maddie would watch from afar to make sure Ellie got to the stable alright, not wanting to suffocate the angry teenager. Joel would then pick her up from work in the evenings, and both of them would wait for Ellie to finish at the stable a distance away before following her home, again, from a distance.

As unconventional as their days as a family were, this was their new normal. They liked it, even Ellie, not that she would ever admit that. It was as if they were her parents. To Maddie, this new routine was as domestic as she had ever felt, and before she knew it, she was seeing Joel in a different light, wondering what it would be like if they were a couple, and if he felt the same for her. But Joel had never shown her any interest beyond the normal protective man that they knew him to be.

Just as he had given a sense of safety and familiarity to Maddie and Ellie, they were also those things to him. And he would be lying if he were to say that Maddie was just someone he had travelled with. But she was a victim of sexual assault, and he wasn’t willing to scare her off by telling her how he felt. So, he took what he could get, and lived his life with her, hoping that she felt the same way, and that they would be together one day. He was comfortable with her, she was familiar, he felt like he could be himself with her.

Things went this way for a while. Over time, Ellie’s anger seemed to dissipate slightly, and she was beginning to talk to Maddie and Joel when the need arose. But being a teenager, she began spending more time with her friends, and wanted her own space. Eventually, she stopped sleeping downstairs, leaving Joel and Maddie alone, both of them still needing the familiarity of each other’s company to rest.

About three months in, Maddie woke up to Joel spooning her, his arms wrapped around her. She sighed contentedly, feeling happier and more rested than she had ever felt. When Joel awoke, he seemed flustered, mumbling his apologies, covering his crotch with the blankets before going upstairs to get ready for the day. For the rest of that week, Joel and Maddie woke up in each other’s arms, but never took it further. Both of them were convinced that the cuddling was accidental, just an unconscious move one of them made in the night. But the domesticity between them increased, standing nearer to each other, letting their shoulders touch when cooking or walking next to each other, fingers brushing against one another, shy smiles exchanged all the time. Ellie noticed, her eyes rolling, but she smirked softly with approval every time the two made eye contact before looking away pink-cheeked and embarrassed.

That day, after dropping Ellie off, Joel asked Maddie if she would go to the Tipsy Bison for a drink with him that night, just the two of them. Joel’s smile was so wide his eyes disappeared, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, his heart close to bursting when she shyly said yes. They continued walking slowly towards the clinic, hands brushing against each other in the process. Joel was having a discussion with himself in his head on whether or not to kiss her on the cheek upon dropping her off at the clinic, when a group of men went running past them towards the clinic, carrying a very bloody man. Maddie looked at Joel, who nodded. She said a quick goodbye before running to the clinic to help.

The rest of that day went by with a blur. The patient had tried to fix his malfunctioning fridge when it shocked him, and his violently seizing body caused it to topple over and crush him. His injuries were severe, and Maddie and Marcus never left his side, staying at the clinic for the next three nights before he stabilized, taking turns sleeping for an hour each at the studio apartment above the clinic.

When Maddie went home days later, Joel was not in the living room sleeping. He had gone upstairs to his own room. Maddie slept in her own room for the first time that night, exhaustion taking her to dreamland within minutes. When she woke up the next day, having slept in later than she normally would, Joel had gone on patrol.

Dinner that night was quieter than usual, Joel exhausted from his long day, Maddie too. Ellie was just rushing through dinner to go to movie night. After they cleaned up, Joel put his jacket on and told Maddie he was going out for a drink before closing the door behind him. Maddie was dumbfounded. What happened to going to the Tipsy Bison together? Did he want her to go with him? Did he ask her, but she didn’t hear? She decided she was going anyway. It was weird to go this long without him.

When she got to the Bison, she searched the room for him or Tommy. She found him almost immediately, sitting at the bar, a drink in his hand, chatting with someone she couldn’t see, his back to her. She walked over, eager to join him, when the crowd parted. He was sitting next to a beautiful redhead, who was animatedly telling him a story. She looked young, probably in her mid-twenties. She was textbook beautiful, with her perfect face and her perfect body in a beautiful wrap dress. Maddie looked at her own reflection in the mirror behind the bar, feeling like she looked at least fifty, and not the mid-forties that she really was, her clothes plain and baggy, hiding her less than perfect body, full of scars from their long journey together. He laughed at her jokes, looking like he’s having a hell of a time. Maddie shook the shock away, walking forward again, when the redhead wrapped her arm around his free hand, and placed her head on his shoulder. Maddie got closer and called his name.

Joel and the redhead turned, Joel quickly pulling his hand away from her hold. The redhead looked her up and down and smiled.

“You must be Madeleine, you’re Joel’s roommate, right?” she asked, her charming smile making Maddie feel like a frumpy old lady.

Joel cleared his throat. “Maddie, this is Vanessa, my patrol partner.”

***

Maddie forced a smile on her face and said hi to Vanessa. Joel pulled the chair on his other side and asked her to join them. But Maddie felt like she was interrupting. She now felt sure that he did not in fact ask her to join him before he left the house. He wanted to be alone with her. And now he was inviting her to join them because he felt bad, or felt he had to. Maddie felt hot all of a sudden, her face flushed with embarrassment. She mumbled some incoherent half-assed excuse about needing to get up early and turned to go home. She heard Joel call after her, but she was too mortified with the realization that she had made up his affection for her in her head that she just bolted. She ran face first into Tommy who asked her to slow down, but she didn’t. She needed to get out of there as soon as she could.

Fuck. What was she thinking? Why the hell would he want to be with some middle-aged old maid such as herself when he could get a Vanessa? Young, beautiful, sexy, sex-on-a-leg Vanessa? Those perky boobs of hers that were close to spilling out of her dress probably didn’t even need bras. Maddie couldn’t get her own boobs to look that perky with the best push up available. He may be in his fifties, but Joel was a good-looking guy, and Maddie had not missed the way the ladies in Jackson giving him fuck-me eyes on the daily. He had always been oblivious to this phenomenon, and Maddie stupidly thought it was because he only cared for her attention, but clearly, she was wrong. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! How was she supposed to look him in the eyes again?

When she got home, she went straight to her room, not bothering to turn the lights on. Sleep evaded her, her heart hammering away, but the embarrassment she felt earlier was now replaced with something she could not identify. She had never felt like this before. Her heart felt… heavy. The weight of it pressing down on her as she laid on her bed. She turned sideways to ease it, it worked for a while, but returned a few minutes later. After what felt like hours, she heard the front door open, and Joel’s familiar heavy footsteps walked in, the sounds coming closer and closer before stopping at her door. She saw the shadows of his feet in the sliver of light under the door from her dark room. She could hear his hand touching the door handle, but after what felt like hours, she heard him huff a long breath before retreating and going up to his own room. Maddie let go of the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She turned one final time, letting the heaviness play with her mind until sleep took her.

The next morning, Maddie practically shoved food down Ellie’s throat in order to whisk her away to school as soon as possible, terrified of running into Joel. Ellie pushed her hand away, grumbling what her problem was. As they were leaving, she heard Joel’s door open. Maddie grabbed Ellie by the collar and pulled her out the door, literally jogging away from the door. She heard the door open, and Joel’s voice call for them, Ellie stopping to wait for Joel, but Maddie kept pulling.

“What is going on with you? Why are we running from Joel?” she asked.

Before Maddie could answer, Vanessa appeared out of nowhere, colliding with her, the force of it pushing both of them on the ground, Maddie literally eating dirt. Joel ran up, helping Vanessa up, checking she was alright before turning to Maddie, whose lips were now bleeding from her face plant. Joel looked concerned, hand coming up to her face, but before he could do anything, Vanessa piped up,

“I was just on my way to get you. We need to leave now. The patrol from last night didn’t return. I was going to go get Tommy next,” she said, her voice urgent.

Maddie wiped the blood on her lips while Ellie helped her up. Joel looked at her, her lips sans blood now. Maddie said something about being late for work and turned around, pulling Ellie with her. Ellie kept quiet after that, somehow reading that any comments on what just happened wouldn’t be welcomed, especially the fact that Joel helped Vanessa up before her. Maddie felt childish, as if she was reading too much into this. He had reached Vanessa first, so it made sense that he helped her first, right? Of course he would’ve helped her too. Of course he would’ve. He would’ve. He definitely would’ve.

When she got to the clinic, Marcus, who was fast becoming her best friend from all the time they spent alone at the clinic, was already there. He turned to greet her, only for his face to morph into concern at her swollen lips, now bleeding again. He forced her to take a seat, despite her protests, fussing with swabs and ointments to make sure she didn’t need stitches. He gently pried her lips open, looking at them with a small torch, dabbing lightly to see if the bleeding could stop on its own, his left hand holding her cheek.

Someone cleared their throat. The two looked up to see Joel standing in the doorway, his face like thunder. He said something about not knowing what time he would be home that day, and to make sure Ellie got home on time, before abruptly turning around and leaving, the door slammed harder than it should behind him. Marcus looked bewildered for a second, before declaring she didn’t need stitches, but dabbing some ointment on her lips anyway, just to be safe.

When both batches of patrol came back that evening, Maddie was relieved to see Joel unscathed, just tired looking, Vanessa riding next to him, looking like some badass chick coming home from a victorious battle, her red hair looking perfect as ever, an easy smile on her face, which was gazing adoringly at Joel. A few riders from last night’s patrol were injured, so Marcus called Maddie to give him a hand. She felt Joel’s eyes on her but did not dare look. She focused on cleaning the injuries and then preparing the trays and equipment to stitch up the wounds, her and Marcus working well together, fast and efficient.

After what felt like a thousand hours, Maddie was looking forward to going home, taking a shower, having a quick dinner and just sleeping the rest of the night away. She was walking towards the stables to get Ellie, stomach rumbling, when someone called her name. It was Vanessa, running slightly to catch up with her.

“Hey Maddie? I just wanted to say sorry for running into you like that this morning. I was in a hurry and didn’t see you. Are you alright?”

Maddie nodded, so not in the mood to feel inferior right now, and Vanessa just brought that out of her. Vanessa continued almost immediately after the nod,

“Hey, just wondering. You and Joel, you guys are not together, right? He said you were just roommates?”

Maddie felt like her heart was in her throat. She was convinced that if she opened her mouth to answer her heart would fall out. So instead, she shook her head. After all, that’s what she was. She was the woman living in the same house as he, in different rooms in fact. They were roommates. He was her roommate, one she was heavily crushing on, a one-sided imaginary feel-fest starring only her.

“Oh, good. So, you don’t mind that we’re seeing each other, right? It’s just, we spend so much time together and I think we both feel this connection you know? It was just a matter of time. We work well together. But I just thought I should talk to you about it, you know, woman to woman?” she said, her eyes dreamy.

“Isn’t he too old for you?” Maddie said before she could stop herself. Vanessa just scoffed.

“If that’s what old looks like, I guess I have a thing for older men. Plus, he’s not old where it counts, you know what I mean? That man can make me purr, let me tell you that!” she said, giving a cheeky wink before walking away.

Maddie stopped in front of the stable, her legs heavier than lead, her head full of what just happened. So, Joel had a girlfriend now? She couldn’t comprehend it, just a week ago he was flirting with her and asking her out for drinks, and cuddling with her, and now he had a girlfriend?

Maddie heard her name again, this time in Joel’s low tone. It seemed he had the same idea to walk Ellie home from the stable now that he was home earlier than expected.

“What did Vanessa want?” he asked her, his head low, eyes fixed on his feet.

“Nothing,” Maddie said, a little too quickly. “You can walk Ellie home, right? I think I’m gonna go home first.”

“Wait,” he said, his hand wrapped gently around her clenched hand. “I made dinner. Let’s have dinner together? Like we always did? I have something to talk to you about,” he said, his face hopeful.

Maddie so badly wanted to say yes, she had missed him. Missed having a good meal with him and Ellie. But Vanessa’s words were fresh in her mind, and if he was just going to tell her the same thing, she didn’t want to hear it. She got it. He had a girlfriend. All his affections were in her head.

“Actually Joel, I’m not hungry. I’m really tired. I’ll see you around,” she said instead, walking away, prying her hand from his gentle grasp, dying to get away from him before the grumbling in her tummy got loud enough to betray her.

Maddie went to bed with a piece of bread, lying in bed in the dark, willing herself not to cry. The heaviness in her chest was back. What was going on? What was this feeling? Shit. She just wanted it to go away.

After he and Ellie had dinner, Joel went to Maddie’s door, raising his hand to knock, desperate to talk to her. But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t hear her word choice – that she will see him ‘around’ instead of ‘at home'. Deciding not to bother her, he went upstairs and willed himself to sleep.

The next day, while she was mopping the floors in the clinic, Vanessa showed up. Maddie almost sighed out loud in exasperation. She kept popping up on her, like a Jack-in-a-Box, but a really annoyingly beautiful one. Instead, she composed herself and forced a fake smile on her face. Vanessa came up to her, a cheeky look on her face,

“Hey Maddie… so… Joel and I are going on a date tonight, and… well… I live with five other girls you know, and Ellie will be spending the night at Dina’s. I was wondering if you could do me a solid and make yourself scarce for the evening? So, we can have some alone time? Help a girl out?” she begged, a desperate look on her face.

Maddie just stared for a while. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to seem like a scorned woman, so she just smiled and nodded, before picking up the mop bucket and walking to the back room. She heard Vanessa’s delighted “thank you!” behind her, shut the door to the back room, sat down, and buried her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely.

As she laid in the twin bed in the studio apartment above the clinic that night, she couldn’t get the images of Joel and Vanessa together out of her imagination. She didn’t even go home for a change of clothes, worried that if she ran into him, she would turn to stone. She kept picturing them naked, their bodies entwined, their lips locked, their moans loud and echoey throughout the empty house. She hated the fact that she didn’t tell him how she felt earlier, and now it was too late. She cried herself to sleep that night, fully dressed.

The next morning, she was shaken awake by a worried Marcus, who had noticed that the apartment lights were on and went up there, thinking he forgot to switch them off. He asked her what happened, but she was too ashamed to tell him, choosing instead to tell him she was too tired to walk home. He obviously didn’t believe her but chose not to press further. Instead, he waited for her to wash her face, and asked her to go to the mess hall for some breakfast instead. He needed to open the clinic, but a hungry nurse won’t do him any good, he said, pinching her on the chin, making her laugh.

When they walked down together, Marcus’s comforting hand on her shoulder, they came face to face with Joel, who stopped walking, his face the picture of devastation at the sight he was seeing. Maddie wanted to be offended, clocking what he must have thought of the sight. How dare he, when he was the one going on dates and bringing the perfect specimen of a woman home. She was about to express her annoyance, but a very chirpy Vanessa came running, pulling him away, whispering in his ear, before turning around and smiling cheekily at Maddie, winking conspiratorially at her, giving her a thumbs up, as if doing her the biggest favor. Joel kept looking back at the two of them, his face disbelieving, looking crestfallen. Maddie felt her heart clench. She realized that instead of anger, his face just looked so sad. She wanted to go after him and ask him what was wrong, but a flustered looking mother came running to the clinic, her child in her arms who was obviously having difficulty breathing.

So, Maddie put her nurse game face on, and took the child from his mother, and brought him inside for treatment.

***

Joel didn’t sleep at home for almost a week after that day. He would walk Ellie home from the stable in the evenings, made sure she had dinner, and left as soon as Maddie got home. He got home before dawn broke, got ready for his day, and let Maddie handle Ellie in the mornings, preferring to leave for the stables without having to bump into her. Maddie made sure Ellie was never alone at night but chose to sleep at the apartment if Joel was home for the night, deciding that she would rather sew her own ears shut than hear Joel and Vanessa going at it, making sure she was out of the house before she came for the night. She got home a little earlier than expected one day and could hear his moans and groans upstairs and ran out of the house like her life depended on it before she could hear her too. Never again, she thought. Her heart couldn’t take it. Ellie was spending more and more weekends sleeping over at her friends’ places, so Maddie was the only obstacle for the happy couple’s privacy. Maddie did wonder where the two spent their nights when they were not at this house. Vanessa made it clear she had roommates, so they must have found some sort of a sex port somewhere.

Maria came to talk to her one day, asking her if she and Joel were having problems, considering they had not been seen together for a couple of weeks. They were virtually inseparable during the first three months in Jackson, and suddenly it was as if they were strangers. Maria told her she was shocked to hear that Joel was with Vanessa – she had always thought that he and Maddie would end up together. Even Tommy was shocked, but of course, no one dared say anything to the grumpy man, for he was even more stubborn than he was grumpy.

As much as Maddie wanted to own up to her feelings and frustrations, she didn’t want Maria and Tommy blabbing to Joel. If he was happy with Vanessa, then she would like to be happy for him, as much as it was killing her inside. So, Maddie tried to keep the peace. She and Joel simply coexisted, avoiding each other like a dance, while making sure Ellie was taken care of.

But Ellie, oh Ellie. That girl had completely become a typical teenager, always angry, always moody, not that she wasn’t already. Despite letting Joel and Maddie walk her to school and back home daily, she made it quite clear that she was still angry at them for what happened at the hospital, using that as an excuse as to why they didn’t have the right to tell her what she could and couldn’t do, since they had taken her choice away from her. She could sense the unease between the two parental figures, and she was acting out. Maddie caught her smoking once, and when she tried to tell her it was not good for her, she stomped off, yelling that she was not her mother so please fuck off! Joel wasn’t faring any better with her either. He caught her sneaking out late one night, and when confronted, she screamed that he was not her father, and it was not like he was such a good role model, he couldn’t even keep his family together.

So, Maddie and Joel had a sit down, and decided they needed to get their shit together, and work together for Ellie’s sake. They came to an agreement that they needed to stay together, just until Ellie fully settled, so that she didn’t feel alone or left out. Family meals were no longer negotiable, even if no one was talking. Also, no one would be having sleepovers, at home or otherwise for a while, just to get their bearings back. Ellie needed stability, and having every other parental figure out of the house every other night was not helping, neither was her sleeping in different places every weekend. And for Joel and Maddie – whatever they had going on outside of the three of them, stayed out of the house. So, Maddie made it a point to never mention Vanessa to him, and he did the same. They were civil to one another, keeping up appearances for her sake, but when Ellie went to bed, both of them quietly retreated to their own rooms, neither talking to each other, each missing longing looks they each gave the other.

Slowly but surely, their efforts started showing results. Ellie started calming down, making the effort to spend more time with Joel and Maddie, going to movie nights with them, even helping them prepare meals and tending the garden in the backyard, doing her chores, and although she still had her temper tantrums every now and again, she was generally more relaxed, and a lot more cooperative. Everything seemed to be going well. The three of them getting along, their school and work life going great.

Every time Maddie saw Vanessa around town, she was always surrounded by ladies her age – her roommates, Maddie assumed. Vanessa always gave her a sad smile, and her friends would stare at her, annoyance and disgust clear on their faces, before rubbing their hands on Vanessa’s back and walking away as a group. Joel had taken to glaring at Marcus whenever the doc was around, although for the life of her Maddie couldn’t figure out why. But they had agreed not to talk about anything non-related to the three of them, so she kept quiet.

About two months after the new arrangement began, Maddie was taking inventory at the clinic when Vanessa walked in, arms full of medical supplies they had found from that day’s scavenging trip. Maddie thanked her, and immediately began checking the items for leaks and expiry dates.

“So, how’s Ellie doing these days?” Vanessa asked.

“Joel didn’t tell you? She’s doing much better. It’s sweet of you to ask.”

“That’s so great! I am so happy for you guys,” she said. “So, now that Ellie’s doing much better, are you looking for other places to live?”

“Why would I be doing that?” Maddie asked back, genuinely confused at the question.

“Well, now that Ellie’s doing better, do you need to still be living with Joel? I mean, you guys are not together, and he’s with me, so why are you still living with him?” Vanessa questioned; a sweet smile still plastered on her gorgeous, perfect face.

Maddie was taken aback. She had been living there since they moved to Jackson. The three of them came in together, where else would she be living? Unless…

“Did Joel say something?”

“Oh, it’s not my place to say…”

“Vanessa,” Maddie’s voice was stern, looking at Vanessa with a serious face.

Vanessa gave an uncomfortable smile. “It’s just that Joel and I were planning to take our relationship to the next level you know? We completely understood the need for the two of us to slow down when Ellie was acting up, but now that she’s doing better, he mentioned that maybe it would be better if you found a place for yourself so that I can move in with him, maybe start a family of our own,” she said, her hands twisting together, head down, trying to avoid Maddie’s disbelieving eyes.

“I mean, technically I could just move in with you still living there, but we are very loud, and I think he just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable you know? Even when we haven’t been spending nights together, he found ways for us to have alone time - the man is insatiable - so imagine what it would be like if we were to actually live together…” she continued, a sly smile on her face.

“Plus, I think you living there would make him uncomfortable too. He wouldn’t even show me affection in public out of respect for you. People know the three of you came in together, and lots of people believe you guys are together, so he didn’t want to make you feel left out or anything, you know? So, it would be better for all of us if you have your own place.”

Marcus walked in at that moment, having heard what was said, a stern look on his face, and Vanessa excused herself, before turning around and begging Maddie not to say anything to Joel, for he had made her promise not to say anything. As soon as she was gone, Maddie told Marcus she would be right back, and ran home. She had to talk to Joel. Was this what he really wanted? She needed to hear him say it to believe it. When she got home, the door was open, and she can hear Tommy, Maria and Ellie’s voices clearly, along with Joel’s low one.

“Are you sure about this brother?” Tommy asked.

“Isn’t it too soon?” Maria added, “It’s only been a few months…”

“It’s not too soon,” Ellie’s voice interrupted.

Joel’s voice was clear now.

“We have to move on, things cannot stay like this forever. We will talk to Maddie, make her understand. This is good for her. To be independent. We will help her with anything she needs, of course, but she cannot depend on us forever, so, it would be better if she lives on her own. It’s not like she’ll be far, we’re right here,” he said, his voice steady.

There was a long silence.

“Alright, if you think that’s best,” Maria said.

Maddie had heard everything she needed to hear. She turned around and walked back to the clinic. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Sure, he had found someone, but it had only been a couple of months, ten weeks at the most. And just like that she was no longer needed? After everything?

When she got back to the clinic, she broke down. She told Marcus everything. She felt like he was the only person she could talk to about this, everyone else in her life seemed to be conspiring to rid Joel of her, and he seemed more than eager to make that happen too. Marcus held her tight, keeping silent and just being there for her. He offered his spare room, but Marcus didn’t live alone, and Maddie didn’t want to intrude. He then suggested she move into the apartment above the clinic – the apartment was part of the clinic, and staff were allowed to use it at the doctor’s discretion, especially when severely injured patients required 24/7 care, and he wanted her to have it. Plus, he said, it would be better for the town to have the nurse living directly above the clinic, especially for emergency cases at night.

Maddie promised to think about it, but when she got home that evening, she found that she couldn’t even look at Joel in the eyes anymore, knowing he didn’t want her there. She could feel his eyes on her at all times, and she kept bracing herself for him to tell her what she already knew – that he needed her to move out so he can live his happily ever after with Vanessa, Ellie, and however many devastatingly gorgeous children those two annoyingly good-looking people would inevitably have from their super active sex life. So, the next day while the house was empty, with Marcus’s help, she packed what little belonging she had, and moved out.

But she still had Ellie to think about. Ellie still needed stability. And as hurt as she was, she didn’t want to put her own needs before Ellie’s, but at the same time didn’t want Joel to have the satisfaction of knowing that she gave in to their demands – even if he hadn’t had the balls to talk to her about him wanting to move Vanessa in. So, she decided that while Ellie was still adjusting, she would sneak back home early in the mornings to make breakfast and have their morning routine together, go back there as usual for dinner, and sneak back out once Joel had gone up to bed. Anything for Ellie. All Maddie wanted was for the little girl to have as normal a life as she and Joel could give her.

More time passed. Vanessa had asked her again if she had found an alternate living arrangement, confirming to her that Joel had no clue she had moved out. She was a bit hurt by that. Really? He didn’t even notice she didn’t live here anymore? To be fair, she had been keeping up the façade of being there as if nothing had changed shockingly well, and Joel was much too gentlemanly to barge into her now very empty room without permission to discover her little act. But still, Maddie found herself to be annoyed most days now. Even after a whole month since she overheard that conversation, Joel still hadn’t confronted her with it. Still hadn’t told her he would prefer for her to move out. Ugh. Just man up and do it already!

Joel, on the other hand, was still walking around as the resident town grump, even all these months later. He went about his day as if someone was always hiding in the bushes about to attack him, shoulders stiff, a permanent scowl on his face. The only times he seemed a bit relaxed was when talking to Ellie, Maddie or Maria, even Tommy when the younger man wasn’t looking to annoy him. Nothing weird there, though. That’s how he had always been, and it took Maddie and Ellie nursing him back to health, their hands never leaving his during his recovery from that incident in Salt Lake City for him to soften for the two of them.

He walked into the clinic one Saturday, holding his left arm, the sleeve of his flannel soaked in blood. Maddie felt her head freeze at the sight, running to him and pulling him into the treatment room to take a closer look. He let her pull him with her, his face soft and at ease seeing her worried one.

“What the hell happened?” Maddie asked, carefully folding the sleeves up to take a closer look at his arm, internally chastising herself at how desperately worried she sounded. She hated how much she still cared and worried for him, but she couldn’t help herself.

There was a long, deep, jagged gash along his forearm, about four inches in length, and it was bleeding profusely.

“Caught it on some sharp zinc in the garage while clearing it today,” he explained, wincing slightly when Maddie applied saline solution to clean the wound.

“The hell were you doing clearing the garage?” she asked. “You need to learn to rest, old man, you work too much,” she said.

Joel chuckled, a smile on his face, despite the pain that he was in. Maddie continued cleaning the gash thoroughly, being careful not to hurt him too much. Her eyes slightly wet at the thought of him being hurt. Those couple of weeks in Salt Lake City were among the worst days of her life, she and Ellie so worried that he wouldn’t make it. Even if she was a nurse, it wasn’t like they had the supplies to treat him properly. She was glad they were in Jackson now, and she could help tend to his wound as needed.

Joel couldn’t help but stare at her as she worked, stitching his wound up, her face slightly scrunched up in concentration. His heart softened every time he looked at her. She was so close to him right now; he could smell her shampoo. He longed to bury his face in her hair, in her neck, so he could drown in her smell. It took everything in him not to, he shouldn’t. He didn’t have the right to do that. But he missed her smell, the way her body melted into his when they used to sleep in the living room, the way their bodies just magnetize towards each other no matter how they tried not to do that. He missed the talks they would have before they both fall asleep, and most of all, he missed waking up with his face buried in her hair, the back of her neck, or her face in the crook of his, her arm around his waist, and his around her body. But he couldn’t have that now, not anymore. So, he settled for just looking at her, taking in as much of her beautiful face as he could, hoping to God that was enough to help him sleep that night.

When Maddie looked up at him, she found him looking at her, his face so soft, his puppy dog eyes full of yearning. Their faces were so close together, she could see the flecks of amber in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Maddie,” he began, his voice so soft, so careful, his uninjured hand finding her arm, softly stroking it up and down. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

Her heart stopped. This was it. He was going to tell her he wanted her to move out.

“Joel!!! What happened???” Vanessa’s shrill voice piped in dramatically, her face full of concern.

Maddie wanted to roll her eyes. Where the heck had she come from? Honestly. They spend five days a week on patrol together, she couldn’t let her be alone with Joel for a few minutes? Sheesh. Instead, Maddie rubbed some antibacterial salve on the stitched wound, and began bandaging it, Vanessa fussing over him as if he was a child. Joel just looked a bit flustered, uncomfortable, even. The grump was back. Gone was the soft Joel. He kept saying he was alright, just a cut, nothing to worry about. He was about to ask Vanessa to give the two of them some privacy, when Marcus came in, wondering what the shrill ruckus was all about.

Joel’s face snapped shut even harder. So did Marcus’s when he saw Joel and Vanessa there. As soon as Maddie stood up, he wrapped his hand around Maddie’s shoulder protectively, concerned at what Maddie must be feeling with those two being there together in her presence. He had spent so much time listening to Maddie pour her heart out regarding those two, and he wasn’t about to allow them to hurt her in his presence.

Vanessa wrapped her arms around Joel’s uninjured arm to leave. Joel’s body resisting, but eventually gave in. But before they could leave, Vanessa turned.

“Are you two going to the Bison tonight? Some of the men are doing a live performance. It should be fun! Will we see the two of you there?” she asked, her arms still wrapped around Joel’s, whose face was unreadable, apart from the murdering of a doctor he was probably plotting in his head.

Maddie couldn’t speak, the lump in her throat getting bigger by the second.

“We’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it,” Marcus said, his arm tightening around Maddie’s shoulder. He didn’t miss the way Joel’s eyes flickered to his arm.

“Great! See you there!” Vanessa chirped, before pulling a reluctant Joel with her.

Maddie let out a shaky breath. Marcus let go of her shoulder, but took her face in his hands, checking to see if she was alright.

“Why did you say we would go tonight? I really don’t feel like going. The last thing I need was to see the two of them slow dancing,” she said with a slight tremble of her lips, her tears threatening to slip out.

“Nope. You are going little nurse lady. You are gonna get all dressed up, you are gonna have a few drinks, loosen up and have fun. I’m gonna make sure you leave the Bison smiling tonight if it’s the last thing I do. Fuck ‘em. We are going to have fun. Full stop. Understood?” he said, his face full of care and determination.

Maddie thought about it for a bit and nodded.

He was right. Fuck the two of them. She was going to have fun tonight.

***

Scissors. Where the fuck were the scissors? Ellie was running around the house, looking in every drawer in the common areas looking for scissors. The ‘new’ shirt she had put on for the live performance at the Bison tonight had an annoyingly long lose thread from the wash, and it was a twenty-year-old shirt to begin with despite it being new to her, so she didn’t want to risk pulling it in case it made the situation worse. Joel had left early, needing to help set up the Bison after promising profusely to be careful with his injured arm. Maddie said she would be going from the clinic. So, the mission to find the scissors was a solo one. She went into Joel’s room, hastily looking around for one, but couldn’t find any. Surely, they must have some scissors somewhere in the house, right? Maddie might have them. She ran downstairs, checking in the drawers in the living room and kitchen once more for good measure, before going into Maddie’s room, completely oblivious to what she was about to be greeted with.

***

Maddie spent the evening at Maria’s, looking for a dress to borrow for the night. She forced herself to only speak of everyday matters, and not about Joel or the fact that she was heartbroken that she was about to see Joel and Vanessa together in a public setting. Maria insisted that she put some make up on her, after all, as a beautiful single woman, she might meet someone at the concert, winking at her with a teasing smile.

“Oh, come on Maria. Who would want an old lady such as myself?” Maddie asked.

“Hey, we are about the same age, and 46 is NOT OLD!” Maria said defensively.

“Maybe it wasn’t old in the before, but nowadays? Fuck that is old,” Maddie’s hands covered her face at the thought.

“Hey, Joel is older, and he found someone. You will too,” Maria said.

“Yeah, a 25-year-old. Guys want younger models. They want a Vanessa. They don’t want a Maddie. I mean, Joel went for someone young enough to be his daughter, and he gets called a stud. If I go for someone young enough to be my son? Imagine the backlash!”

Maria sighed. She could not understand why Joel would go for Vanessa. She and Tommy were shocked when they found out. Tommy spent the rest of that day going on and on about how out of character that was for Joel, to go for someone he hardly knew. Joel was a man of routine, of familiarity. And even though Joel had assured him that he and Maddie were just roommates, Tommy didn’t miss the way his brother looked at Maddie. Even Maria noticed, despite not knowing either of them before their second arrival to Jackson. The husband and wife were sure that Joel would finally step up and ask Maddie out. But when Vanessa told her she and Joel were together, Maria decided against talking to Joel about it, and made Tommy promise to do the same, citing it was none of their business. It wasn’t that hard to believe anyway. They spent all day on patrol together, and Vanessa was a beautiful young woman. Joel was just a man, with eyes and needs, so who were they to question it? She could see how Maddie was broken hearted by this revelation, though. But what could she do? The heart will always want what it wants.

They got ready together, Maddie finally relented to wearing a black and white body fitting Lycra dress that flared into a knee-length flowy skirt below the waist, and begrudgingly allowed Maria to lightly put 20-year-old make up on her face, her hair left to fall free around her shoulders. The two walked arm in arm to the Bison together, the town starting to walk over too. The doors to the Bison were left open, the band set up in the square. Maria found Tommy, who gushed at his wife’s beauty, before giving Maddie a low whistle and a once over. She never got all dressed up, and although feeling uncomfortable with all the attention, she enjoyed feeling like maybe, just MAYBE, she was a little bit beautiful tonight, even if only to herself.

When Joel saw Maddie for the first time that evening, he just about had a heart attack. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. He had always thought she was beautiful, even in her simplicity and no muss no fuss attitude. He had always preferred natural beauty on his ladies, and Maddie just looked stunning tonight.

Joel wasn’t looking too bad himself, despite the wrapped forearm. Maddie’s heart literally skipped a beat when she saw him. Dark jeans, a dark green dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows, the top few buttons undone. Even his usually mussed curls were tamed tonight, he had styled it a little bit. Damn he looked good enough to eat.

Their eyes met across the room. They both smiled, hoping to convey what they were feeling to each other in those smiles. Someone tapped her on her shoulder. Maddie turned around, and came face to face with a stunning looking, perfectly styled Vanessa, her perfect body wrapped in a skintight red dress, her ample cleavage threatening to jump out and eat Maddie alive.

“Oh my God Maddie you came!!!” she said, giving her an exaggerated air kiss on each cheek. “You look beautiful!!” she exclaimed, giving Maddie a once over.

“Thanks Vanessa. You look good too,” Maddie said, slightly crestfallen. Even on her best dressed day, Vanessa managed to make her feel like an underdressed clown.

Joel came over, two drinks in his hands. He extended one of the drinks towards them, his eyes fixed on hers, but before Maddie could even think of taking the drink, it had disappeared from his hand.

“Why thank you handsome,” Vanessa cooed, the drink now in her hand, her free arm linking itself to Joel’s (was that a bit of annoyance on his face?). “You look good tonight,” she added, her easy smile turned very flirty. “Doesn’t Maddie look good too? You should dress up more often you know, you look really nice tonight,” she added, giving her another once over.

“Yeah, she looks beautiful,” Joel said, his eyes still on Maddie, who felt her face go red. “You really do look stunning tonight,” he said to her directly, his eyes soft and dark at the same time. “Would you…”

“There you are Marcus! Will you look at how beautiful Maddie looks tonight?” Vanessa interrupted, arms tightening around Joel’s bicep.

Maddie turned around to see Marcus looking her up and down, his mouth wide open in a big grinny disbelief, his hands wide open at the sight of her.

“Oh my God, you look amazing!” he said, his arms dropped, taking her hands in his. He twirled her around and bent a little to give her a lingering kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, stop it,” Maddie said, faking a shy smile, smacking him on his chest, but kissed him back. “Look at you! You clean up well Dr Adams!” she continued, fake batting her eyelashes at him.

The two laughed cheekily at each other. When they turned around, Maddie was met with Vanessa’s face grinning at the sight in front of her, while Joel… Joel looked like he was about to kill Marcus, the hand around his drink looking suspiciously white from his grip. Marcus ignored Joel’s murderous eyes and pulled Maddie’s hand into his.

“Come on little nurse lady, let’s get you a drink. And then, we are going to dance the night away,” he remarked.

“Bye you two!!!” Vanessa chirped happily, her arm still wrapped around Joel’s, before he pulled it away.

Maddie let herself be pulled away. She was going to have fun tonight, she thought. Nothing will ruin tonight for her, she had been through a hell of a year, a hell of twenty years, in fact, and she deserved to let loose and have fun. So, she had a few drinks, and danced with Marcus. Every now and again, she saw Joel standing somewhere in the room, leaning against a pole or a wall, his eyes always fixed on her, Vanessa right next to him, chatting merrily at whoever was closest to them. She and Maria changed partners for a song or two, Tommy being the goofy dance partner Maddie always thought he would be. But despite having so much fun, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to dance in Joel’s arms, him holding her close again, her face in the crook of his neck, surrounded by his heat and that very Joel smell that she missed so much.

She couldn’t get him alone though, Vanessa always beside him, even though she didn’t see them dance at all. Plus, what were the etiquettes here? Should she ask him to dance? Or wait for him to ask her? Was that an okay thing to do? To dance with the man she was desperately in love with when he had his stunning girlfriend clinging to him like a leech? Sheesh Vanessa, honestly. Was she capable of leaving his side for a second? We all got it, Vanessa, message received loud and clear. You were with Joel. No need to stay clamped to him like that all night. She resigned herself to the fact that she would not be dancing with him and pulled Maria to the bar for more drinks.

Joel couldn’t take his eyes off Maddie even for a second. His heart filled with longing to go over and ask Maddie for a dance, but she was always with Marcus, and even Tommy took a turn or two dancing with her (damn him, damn them both!). And Vanessa wouldn’t leave his side even for a second, and no matter how much she batted her eyelashes at him and begged him for a dance, he just didn’t feel like it. The woman he wanted to dance with was dancing with the annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor, not him, the resident town grump. The annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor whom she spent all her working days with. The annoyingly good-looking, charming town doctor whose hands saved lives, unlike his. The annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor who spent the evening expertly and effortlessly twirling her around the dance floor like he was some ballroom dancing expert, while Joel couldn’t even convince himself that he would be able to dance with her without looking at or stepping on his own feet, let alone hers.

When Vanessa finally left his side to go to the bathroom, Joel decided he needed to act and ask Maddie for a dance. But he would be a gentleman about it and ask Marcus for permission first. After all, Maddie was his friend first. They came to town together. They had been living together since they arrived here. They had all this history together. It shouldn’t be weird if they danced together, right? So, Joel made his way towards Marcus, determined to be polite and ask the annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor if he would mind letting him, the resident town grump Joel Miller, to ask his lady for a dance. He got to Marcus, who was chatting with Tommy, drink in hand, and gathered up the courage to ask him the dreaded question. But Marcus’s attention was suddenly distracted by a man who had just entered the pub, looking exhausted, obviously just in from patrol.

“Hey, you made it,” Marcus said, smiling happily before greeting the man with a hug and a sweet peck on the lips. “I don’t know if you two had met. Francis, this is Joel. Joel, this is my husband Francis,” he said.

Joel had seen Francis around before. He was the leader of one of the patrol teams, but since Joel led another team, they had never worked together. He took Francis’s outstretched hand and shook it, commenting that he had seen him around town…

…wait… HUSBAND?

“You’re gay?” Joel couldn’t stop himself from asking incredulously, while Tommy choked on his drink.

“Er… yeah… is that a problem?” Marcus hesitantly asked back.

Tommy and Francis stood there looking at the confused resident town grump and the perplexed, annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor.

“No, of course not, I just didn’t know. Wait… does Maddie know you’re gay?” Joel asked again, unable to hide the confusion on his face.

“Of course she does. She’s my best friend, I tell her everything,” Marcus said, almost laughingly.

“But I thought…” and Joel’s thoughts remained a mystery when a teenager’s carefully aimed shoe made contact with his head, jolting all four grown men out of the discussion that was not meant to be had at that exact time.

All four men spun around to look at the source of the well-aimed shoe, Joel rubbing his head, only to be met by an extremely angry and hostile looking Ellie.

“What the fuck did you do old man? What did you fucking say to her?” she screamed, launching herself at him, smacking him everywhere she could reach.

Despite the merry music playing, the bar went quiet, everyone staring at the newly unfolding drama.

“What are you talking about? What did I do? What did I say to whom?” Joel asked, fending off her smacks, before bending down to pick up her weapon of choice.

“Maddie! She’s moved out! Her room’s all empty! What did you say to her? Did you chase her out? How could you do that?” she raised her arm to smack him again, but Joel held her hand to stop her.

“Maddie moved out? When?” he asked. He turned around, saw Maddie and Maria, back from the bar with drinks in their hands.

“You moved out?” he asked her, his face disbelieving, hurt, betrayed.

“Okay let’s all calm down and take this outside, shall we?” Maria said calmly, her town mayor persona taking over, taking Maddie’s drink from her hand, passing both their glasses to someone before ushering a stunned Joel and a stone-faced Maddie outside. Tommy took Ellie by the shoulder, doing the same, and Marcus and Francis followed.

Once they were further away from the music, they all stood around awkwardly, before Joel piped up again.

“You moved out?” he asked Maddie again, genuinely unable to believe what he had just heard.

Maddie kept looking at the ground, unable to look him in the eyes. Marcus went to her side, holding her close to him. She nodded slowly, eyes still on the ground.

“Why?”

Maddie finally looked up, annoyed that he had the gall to ask that question.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? I overheard you, Joel. And Vanessa told me. I know all of it Joel. Just because you didn’t have the balls to tell me doesn’t mean I don’t know what is going on,” she said, her voice shaking slightly with anger.

“What are you talking about? What did you overhear? What did Vanessa tell you?”

Maddie scoffed. Unbelievable.

“I know you wanted me out of the house, Joel. I heard you two talking with Tommy and Maria,” she said, looking at Joel and Ellie, her face now contorted, tears threatening to spill out.

“Wait, what?” Maria spoke up. “He never told us he wanted you out,” she continued. Tommy, confusion on his face, also shook his head no. Even Ellie looked confused.

“I heard you guys. You wanted me out. It was good for me. I shouldn’t depend on you forever. I should be independent,” her tears falling now.

A flash of understanding came across the four faces in front of her.

“That was about me,” Ellie said. “I asked Joel if he and Tommy could fix the garage up for me, so I can live there by myself, have a space of my own. That way I don’t have to depend on you two forever,” she explained.

“I was clearing it out today, finally have some time to get started,” Joel added, showing her his bandaged arm, “I was gonna talk to you about it when we had some time alone.”

“Wait a minute,” Marcus interjected. “I was there. I heard Vanessa said you wanted Maddie to move out so that she can move in with you.”

“Why the fuck would I want my patrol partner to move in with me?” Joel looked at Marcus like he was speaking in some foreign language.

Now everyone in that group just looked extremely confused, looking at Joel like he had three heads. Why would Joel call his girlfriend his patrol partner? Sure, that’s who she was too, but that’s just weird. Joel now felt like he was the new kid in school, on his first day, where everyone knew something that he didn’t. Someone said Joel’s name amidst the confusing, uncomfortable silence. The group turned around, Vanessa approaching, a nervous smile on her face.

“What’s going on here? Are we moving the party to the back alley now?” she asked, her face filled with uncertainty, but still smiling, her arm snaking around Joel’s.

Joel snatched his arm away. He turned to face her fully, his face serious, her smile faltering.

“Vanessa, what the fuck have you been telling everyone?”

***

“What do you mean, Joel?” Vanessa asked sweetly, her face looking like she would rather be anywhere else but there at the moment, “I didn’t say anything to anyone…”

“Is anyone going to tell me what is going on? Why would I ask her to move in with me?” Joel turned around, asking the silent people around him instead.

Vanessa’s face turned chalk white. Shit, cat’s out of the bag. She couldn’t believe these people went behind her back. She kept telling them not to tell Joel. Sheesh. How hard was it to follow a simple request?

“Well, I don’t know what she told others, but she told me…” Ellie began.

“Ellie…” Vanessa interrupted, panic beginning to invade her voice.

“Shut up Vanessa,” Joel snapped. “Ellie?”

“She told me you and her are dating,” Ellie finished.

The rest of the group murmured a silent ‘yep’. Everyone apart from Maddie, who stayed quiet, eyes glued to her feet.

“You told them what?” Joel’s face was red now, his eyes snapping to Vanessa.

“No Joel, they must have misunderstood…” she began, but Maria cut her off.

“No Vanessa. You told me you and Joel were dating, exclusively.”

“No, I didn’t,” Vanessa starting to sound like a denial puppet now.

Maddie was still silent. Marcus couldn’t stay silent anymore, his memory of all the tears Maddie had shed resulting from this redhead’s poison just pushed the words out,

“I heard you told Maddie Joel wanted her out of the house so that you can move in with him, Vanessa. That you guys have a lot of very loud sex. In fact, I heard you said that you two were going ‘to start a family of your own’,” he added, complete with air quotes.

Joel’s eyes were shooting daggers at Vanessa now. His body so stiff the vein on his neck were practically popping open.

“Vanessa, why would you say that?” he asked, his voice strained from controlled anger.

Vanessa looked at everyone desperately, silently begging for someone to step up to her defense. No one did, in fact she was met with stone-faced people, all staring at her, waiting for her explanation, except for Maddie, who was still looking at her feet.

“Because I am in love with you, Joel! But all you could think about was her! I just thought, if I could just get her to pull away from you, or make you believe she wasn’t interested…”

“So, you told her we were together? That I wanted her to move out? That I wanted to start a family with you? To scare her away from me? That’s why you kept pushing the idea of her and Marcus at me? You wanted me to think she wasn’t interested in me?” her delusions were so vapid and over the top he couldn’t believe she thought she was going to get away with it all.

“Oh, come on Joel. Look at them. He can barely keep his hands off her. They spend all day together, how sure are you they are not just fucking their brains out when they’re alone at the clinic?” Vanessa spat out, pointing at the way Marcus had Maddie close in his arms.

“Erm… He’s been married to me for 8 years,” Francis piped up.

Vanessa spluttered. In all her scheming, she never thought Marcus might be gay, too self-important and vain to learn more about the people around her unless she was interested in them. She could not see a way out. All her carefully laid plan just burst out into the open. The romantic images of her and Joel riding off into the sunset together now a darkened fantasy.

“I just don’t see why we can’t be together Joel!” she pleaded, “We are perfect together. We work well together. We look good together! Why would you want some dried-up old maid when you can have me, Joel?” her face now wet with self-pitying tears, her hands reaching out to take his face in her hands. He slapped them away.

“Vanessa,” he said, his voice shaky and dangerously low. “I told you, many times, that I am not interested in you like that. We are patrol partners, in fact, after tonight, I wouldn’t even call us that, much less friends,” he continued, taking careful, deep breaths.

“Joel! Please Joel, give us a chance. I am so much better for you than she ever will be Joel, we could be so happy,” she pleaded, trying to take his hands. He took a step back, choosing his words carefully, fists clenched by his sides, trembling slightly.

“You will never speak to me again, you understand? Stay away from my family. You are going to tell everyone what you have done. If anyone still believed us to be couple by Monday, or if I hear you say anything bad about Maddie, or see you so much as look her way, so help me God, I will feed you to the clickers myself. Leave now Vanessa, before I forget myself and hurt you.”

Vanessa stood there like a stump. Her usually beautiful face looked exceptionally ugly under the dim lights behind the Tipsy Bison, tears streaking down her face. Unable to defend herself any longer, she turned and walked away defeatedly, her shoulders slumped.

Another uncomfortable silence surrounded the group.

“Does anyone feel stupid that we didn’t see this coming? I mean, if we had just asked Joel in the first place…” Tommy said, glaring at Maria, who was now regretting not doing just that.

A slew of uncomfortable looks and silent, awkward nods followed.

More silence.

“Well,” Francis said with a deep breath, “This was fun, but I would like to go back to the party and drink my achy bones away, perhaps have a dance or two with my husband,” he said.

Marcus looked at Maddie, a small smile on his face. He kissed her on the temple before letting her go, patting Joel on the shoulder, and walking hand in hand with Francis back to the party. Tommy cleared his throat.

“Yeah, well, I think I might join them. Baby?” he looked at Maria, holding his hand out for hers.

Maria reached out and gave Maddie a quick hug, before taking her husband’s hand and walking away with him. Ellie gave an exasperated sigh at her parental figures.

“Seriously people. You call yourselves my parents? Even I know to communicate, even if it’s just slamming doors. Sheesh,” she said, before starting to walk away. She stopped dead in her tracks, turned to the two of them and said, “By the way, I will be spending tonight at Dina’s. You two should be alone, and… erm… ‘talk’,” she said cheekily, before running off.

Alone at last, Joel and Maddie stayed silent for a while, both awkwardly shuffling their feet while looking at anything their eyes would land on but each other. Joel finally broke the tension, taking her hand, leading her to a bench in front of the clinic. Ellie was right, it’s time they finally talked. Sitting side by side, they shared what Vanessa had been doing as far as they knew.

***

Vanessa’s poison ran deep. She had always been friendly with everyone on the patrol team but set her eyes on Joel from the moment he arrived. She saw how closed up and private he was, so she spent the first couple of months being friendly to him, just a partner, patrolling together, idle chit chats while on duty. Eventually, she managed to get him to talk about Maddie and Ellie, and she saw how Maddie was her main competitor for his affection.

She got him to trust her, be his confidant, as much of a confidant as one can be for the very private Joel Miller. Encouraged him to tell Maddie about his feelings. She listened to him and acted all excited when he told her she had agreed to go out for drinks with him.

She took advantage of Maddie’s absence during her care for Mr. Crushed-by-his-Fridge. Be all buddy-buddy with him, all dressed up, while subtly becoming more and more physical with him. A touch here, a hug there, a head on the shoulder here, an arm around his there… friendly, but friendlier than usual.

She planted the idea of Maddie and Marcus in his head. Joel didn’t bite, so she changed tactics.

She planted the idea of her and Joel in Maddie’s head. She asked her to “do a girl a solid” and let the two of them have some “alone time”. She knew clinic staff stayed at the apartment above the clinic sometimes.

Vanessa ‘accidentally’ ran into him early in the morning the next day, Joel out of his mind with worry because he had just realized that Maddie did not come home that night. She told him she saw her going up to the apartment. She hit the jackpot when Marcus was there too. Now Joel was devastated, heartbroken that Maddie had found someone else.

Vanessa offered her couch, or even her bed for him to stay at, so Maddie and Marcus can have some alone time, they were a new couple after all. He was broken-hearted but decided to stay out of the house for a bit, but not at Vanessa’s. He chose the keeper’s room at the stable instead, sleeping there for almost a week, worried that he might react badly if Marcus came to the house.

Joel still refused her advances on him, insisting that they are only patrol partners. So, she upped her game plan. She subtly pushed the idea of her and Joel being together to Maria and Ellie. Maybe they will start saying her name more to him, be supportive of the idea, this would somehow push Joel into entertaining the idea of them being together.

The plan backfired. Instead of pushing Joel towards Vanessa, Ellie acted out, unhappy that her ‘parents’ were avoiding each other. Joel and Maddie stayed together for Ellie’s sake, rather than separating.

As a last-ditch effort, Vanessa concocted the delusional plan that she and Joel were planning to move in together, effectively planting the idea that Joel wanted her in, and Maddie out. The Ellie and the garage conversation was just an unplanned bonus, but the plan worked. Maddie was hurt enough to distance herself further from Joel, making him feel defeated. To Vanessa’s detriment, Joel still wouldn’t see her as more than a friend.

So, when she saw him injured at the clinic, she took the opportunity to give Joel some PDA to push in Maddie’s face, and Marcus coming in to protect Maddie helped convince Joel further that they really were together. But instead of being sad and finally giving in to Vanessa's advances, Joel chose to just be 'happy' for Maddie, just the way Maddie was for him. Even after all that, Joel stood firm - he was not interested in Vanessa like that. She had asked him to go to the Bison as her date, but he refused. She was determined to stick to Joel that night, never letting him go out of her sight, knowing he was too much of a gentleman to push her away in public. He had refused to dance with her at all, his eyes fixed on Maddie, who spent the entire night dancing merrily in Marcus’s arms. Vanessa kept mentioning what a lovely couple they were, Joel now obviously believing that Maddie and Marcus were indeed a couple. She was convinced that he will give in - just a little more time. All seemed to be going her way.

That was, until Francis walked in.

***

The two took deep breaths together, angry at themselves for letting themselves be fooled by this poisonous woman.

“We need to communicate better,” Joel said, shaking his head in disbelief, chuckling a little at the stupidity of it all.

Maddie could only nod in agreement, feeling drained and stupid for letting these lies cloud her judgments. But… something was missing. She looked at him questioningly,

“Wait, so if you were never with Vanessa, who were you with? I heard you having sex, Joel. I ran out so fast my feet almost caught fire.”

Joel frowned, searching his mind, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He hadn’t had se… oh no… God no… his face turned red at the realisation of what she heard. Words formed in his mind, trying to explain the situation she was referring to, one where he thought he was alone in the house for, but broken, disconnected words were all he managed to get out,

“Erm… sex? I haven’t had… not since… erm… I was not having sex… I was… erm… well… wait, you didn’t happen to hear your name too, did you?” his ears were now so red she could see the colour change even in the dim lighting of the sidewalk.

Realisation dawned on Maddie’s face, turning red on its own accord. Both of their faces now red hot from embarrassment, laughing softly. They continued sitting there, shoulders almost touching, their bodies swaying together to the faraway music from the square.

“So… you are not with Marcus?” Joel finally asked, a small smile on his blushing face.

Maddie smiled shyly, shaking her head slightly. “And you, you are not with Vanessa?” she asked him back.

“Never,” he said, shuffling closer to her. “I actually have a huge crush on my roommate,” he said, turning his body towards her, offering her his hands, “In fact, I am certain that I am in love with her.”

Maddie took his hands in hers, tears falling down on her cheeks. Joel kissed them away silently, putting his forehead on hers, whispering her name.

“Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry,” he said quietly, before taking her face in his hands, bringing her lips to his own, kissing her for the first time.

He held her tight, arms surrounding her, never wanting to let go. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers caressing his curls, sighing contentedly into the kiss. He deepened the kiss, swallowing her moans as she melted into his body. He stopped himself before the kiss turned desperate, very much aware they were on a sidewalk in front of the clinic, in perfect view of the townsfolk who were still going to the Bison. He took her by the hand, interlacing his fingers with hers, and asked her if he could take her home.

“My apartment is just through that door,” she whispered in his ears, pointing to the door behind him.

Joel’s body tensed. Without saying another word, he lifted her up bridal style, earning a shriek from her, and carried her up the stairs to the small apartment. He kicked the door closed before placing her gently on the twin bed in the middle of the room. He joined her on the bed, hovering over her, not caring that the bed was far too small for the both of them.

“Joel, your arm, we shouldn’t,” Maddie began, but he silenced her with a long, deep kiss.

“So, I hear you are in love with your roommate,” Maddie said. Joel chuckled shyly, his nose rubbing against hers. “Well guess what?” she asked, as he raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m in love with my roommate too,” she told him. His face lit up, and he claimed her lips again.

Joel didn’t want to leave any room for Maddie to doubt his desire for her that night. He took her slowly, thoroughly, his lips and tongue covering every bit of skin he unraveled when undressing her, leaving her moaning, squirming and breathless before she was even naked. When he finally took her soaked underwear off, the growl he let out had her wondering if he was secretly some sort of an animal, and boy oh boy was he one. He devoured her like he was some famished man who had spent his days peeking longingly into the window of a high-class restaurant he couldn’t possibly afford, ravenous from the deprivation of the ultimate feast that seemed unreachable for him until that very moment - her. Joel’s name became a prayer, ranging from desperate whiny whispers all the way to full blown screams that became hoarser and hoarser as the night went on. Maddie swore she saw God at least three times before his shirt was even off, shocked that he still had a full head of those beautiful curls from how hard she was pulling at them, legs shaking, chest heaving, her entire body flushed from the pleasure he had given her.

When she had calmed down, she climbed atop him, slowly torturing him with soft kisses, kitten licks and caresses, taking her time exploring his body, beginning from his eyebrows, going further and further down until he was so hard his entire body was shaking uncontrollably, his brain deprived from all the blood it needed, his words slurred and mumbled. She was amazed by the power she had over him at that moment – Joel Miller, the resident town grump, the man who ran amok through an entire hospital to save his daughter, the heroic alpha who could slash his way through bands of clickers and raiders alike – reduced to babbling nonsensical mumbo jumbo that almost had her giggling from satisfaction. When she slowly lowered his boxers, she blew softly on his unraveled manhood, leaving him gasping for air, his trembling body suddenly stock still from the pleasure a simple puff of air provided. She wet her lips, her mouth watering at the sight, and lowered her head to finally, finally taste him. But before she could even touch him, his hands stopped her, his body flipping her onto her back. He placed his head on her chest, telling her in a strained voice with much certainty that if she were to touch him at that moment, he would spontaneously combust.

Slowly, with their lips locked together in a passionate kiss, he entered her, inch by impressive inch, pulling back slightly, going deeper with each tortuously slow thrust, until he stilled, whispering to her between kisses that he needed a moment, fully encased in her warmth, his thick tip nudging at a spot Maddie never knew existed until now. She forgot how to breathe, her entire body responding to this much welcomed and long overdue union, the coil in her belly bubbling hot just from this one initial nudge, her insides involuntarily clenching to find release. He almost screamed, before composing himself, taking deep breaths, shutting his eyes from her reaction. He begged her, pleaded with her not to move, not to clench, his entire body straining from trying not to burst, his arms holding her tight, his face, neck and chest red from the effort, his teeth gritted, his eyes shut tight, beads of sweat glistening all over his beautiful face. She in turn was begging him over and over to forgive her, her body wasn’t listening to his pleas. She’s sorry, she’s sorry, she’s so very sorry, she couldn’t help it. Despite him not moving at all, she was too close, too hungry, too desperate for release, her core continuously squeezing him so tightly, milking him for all he had to give her, pulsating around him again and again until her entire body shook with unmitigated pleasure, stars bursting behind her eyes, sending her to heaven and back, a silent scream releasing from her open mouth, her hands clutching at his back, her vision whitened, her ears ringing, taking him with her to nirvana.

When she could finally breathe again, the room was quiet, save for their quivering breaths. His body was slumped over hers, his head in the crook of her neck. She held him tight, her fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on his back, a satisfied smile on her face. The silence was finally broken by his muffled voice, mumbled into her neck, before he managed to muster the energy to lift his head, his face red from embarrassment, having finished so early, inciting giggles from her. He buried his face in her neck again, mortified by his body’s betrayal, while she kept assuring him between sweet kisses that he had nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, she said, there’s always the next time. Wiggling his eyebrows, he kissed her with a smile, and promised vehemently that he would make up for it.

And after a short rest, he did make up for it, again and again that night. He made up for it again on Sunday morning despite complaining that the small bed had fucked his back, again after breakfast, while packing, showering, once more before leaving that evening, and one more time for good measure when he finally took her home, to their now shared bedroom.

***

The very tired but glowing couple walked to the clinic Monday morning, fingers entwined with one another’s. Maddie was due to start her shift, and Joel’s back and arm needed looking at, his back extremely sore and some of his stitches ripped from… unplanned strenuous activities. They were greeted by a very annoyed looking Marcus, a bucket of cleaning supplies at his feet. He complained that the apartment smelt like sex, unable to hide the smile behind his faux annoyance. So, Maddie’s sole duty for the day was to sanitize that apartment top to bottom, so that Marcus could actually get his rest there when needed without having to worry about… contamination.

As delusional as Vanessa had been in her concoction of her torrid sexcapades with Joel, she was right about one thing. The man may be middle aged, but he was young where it counted. The man was insatiable. Ever since that Saturday night, he couldn’t leave Maddie alone, hands constantly on her. Whenever they were in the same room, a part of him must be touching her at all times. A hand on her thigh, his little finger hooked on hers, his chest on her back, his arm around her shoulder, his fingers interlaced with hers, his chin on her shoulder, his arms around her waist, and those were when there were others around. When alone, those ‘innocent’ (his words, not hers) touches were always accompanied by his lips on her person, his talented tongue joining in on the action not long after. And well, the rest… followed.

Ellie made sure to knock as loudly as she could before going into any room in the house now, even open areas like the corridor, the living room or the kitchen, using anything she could use to make as much noise as she could, eyes closed tight until Joel or Maddie responded, her mind still haunted by what she saw when she walked in on her parents going at it like rabbits on the couch, which she steadfastly refused to sit on now, even after they made a show of thoroughly cleaning it in front of her.

“It’s the mental image of it, guys, you’re gonna have to scrub my actual brain to get rid of that,” she exclaimed, “Can’t believe you mowed down an entire hospital to save me, and then let me go through THAT…” she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head. “Let’s erm… get the ‘me moving into the garage bit’ going yeah? So, I don’t fear for my mental health much longer?” The girl had been through literal and figurative hell and back, and walking in on her parents having sex was still the worst thing she had ever seen.

Their life and routines together flourished. As far as Jackson were concerned, they were a family. Sure, the ladies still ogled Joel like he was a popsicle on a hot day, but Maddie now knew for sure that he only had eyes for her.

Vanessa had been taken out of Joel’s patrol team and placed on wall duty, partnered with only women, most of whom acted like she wasn’t there unless needed. Life hadn’t been easy for her since that night. Word of her scheming had spread like wildfire, and the ladies of Jackson, even the single ones, avoided her like the plague, worried she would go after their men. Even the men avoided her - save for some shameless lecherous ones who only wanted one thing from her – worried that they would be trapped by her. Safe to say that any hopes for her to settle down and have a family was long gone.

She in turn, avoided the Millers as much as she could, turning around and going another direction whenever she saw them. She couldn’t avoid going to the clinic when she needed treatment, but she had no choice. Thankfully, Maddie and Marcus were much too classy to treat her like a leper, her shame was enough of a punishment without them having to add to it.

***

A year later, Ellie ran into the house in such a rush she didn’t have time to knock, running upstairs, barging into her parents’ room with her eyes closed tight, a hectic scrambling on the bed letting her know she had been right to do so.

“Guys, Tommy sent me, Maria’s in labour!” she yelled.

Maddie and Joel dressed quickly, Maddie telling Ellie to go get Marcus.

“Tommy already went to get him. And eww Maddie, wash your hands! God knows what part of Joel you just touched,” she squirmed, eyes still closed shut. She turned around to leave, muttering under her breath, “With all your canoodling I am shocked Maria’s having a baby and not you…”

Joel and Maddie looked at each other, a knowing smile on their faces.

[itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland]

Finding Peace Pt.4: Waves (Spike x YN)

Request: Nope. Part 4 of the Multi Fic.

TW: Mentions of blood and phsyical harm.

Summary: Spike is worried for the cursed slayer. He wonders if she can manage in her own.

Word Count: 2.2k

Previous | Next

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another night of hunting. Another night covered in blood. You walked half contorted body down the street, in pain after your battle. Your body was regenerating but it was still painful. How many more nights of this hell before you found peace. You would cry, like you did in the past, but there's no point. It brings no relief. So, you just hobbled home in the dead of night hoping no civilian would catch you. Cause what a horrifying sight you are.

Smoke litters the air as Spike exhales. Another night of helping the slayer. Another night of getting his ass handed to him for getting cocky around her. He wishes he wasn't infatuated with her, but life just happens. A quick thought interrupted his line of thought. The cursed slayer. He hasn't seen her in 3 days. He misses her. Now that she doesn't work at The Magic Shop it’s harder to see her. Maybe every other day he'll see her in the cemetery with Buffy or alone but never on a consistent schedule. He knows where she lives... he could visit her. He would blush if he had any blood to produce a blush. How silly is he being? Him, chasing after the cursed slayer. Ridiculous.

He trails off from the cemetery, still debating on whether to visit y/n or not. What reasons would he have for stopping by? The waltz! He offered her a dance! He stops in his tracks and shakes his head. He was being silly. No one that experienced and ancient would care to spend time with him. Even if they were friends. She was just being polite. He tried to reason with himself. He has never felt so much doubt over someone. With Buffy it was straight forward, stalk and wear her down. With y/n it’s so complicated. Like playing a game without rules.

His attention is caught by a trail of blood on the ground. He's on high alert. He follows the zig zag of blood down the street. This is the street to y/n's house. He walks faster, afraid for her safety. As he turns the corner he sees her, a macabre sight of body parts twisted and torn. He holds his breath as if he had any. He rushes to her side.

You become aware of a presence behind you. You're tired and badly hurt, but if a fight has to happen then you are ready.

"Y/n!" Spike yells after you.

The wave of relief that washes over you is insurmountable.

You barely turn as he runs up to you, worry etched on his face.

"Despite my current presentation, I'm fine." You interject before he can get a word out.

"You look like death."

"I'll survive." You try to hobble past him.

Without any warning he scoops you up into his arms, your face against his chest. You feel a blush coming on. He starts at a steady and careful pace back to your house.

"I can walk." You argue.

"Barely" he says.

You sigh. You would never admit it but you like how it feels to be taken care of. You breath in the scent of dirt and leather that clings to Spike. You stay quiet the rest of the way, contemplating how much different your life would be if you had Spike around. You wave the idea away. He belongs to Buffy and you belong to the curse, simple as that.

You reach your house, still in his arms. He gently puts you down on your feet. You're surprised by his gentle nature.

"Thank you." You smile, trying to steady yourself.

"What are friends for." He pauses for a second. "You owe me a dance." He felt like a putz bringing it up in her current state. Why did his brain short circuit around her?

You chuckle. "I haven't forgotten. Maybe next time." You turn away and walk inside your house.

As soon as the door closes, he hangs his head. What an idiot he's being! Asking for a dance when she can barely move. Might as well wear a sign that says touch starved. He walks back home, hands in his pocket, angry and embarrassed. He can still smell her blood on him, making him hungry.

The next day he was itching to see y/n again. He had to wait at the cemetery, maybe? Walk up her street? He didn't know where to locate her, simply that he had to make sure she was okay. After a while he gives up and starts to walking by y/n's street to find her sitting by the curve. She looks in pain.

He rushed to your side. You have a broken leg. You thought it would be a good idea to limp back home after your early but painful altercation with a demon. Spike crouches down to your level.

"What do we got here?" He says in a playful tone trying to hide his concern.

"You should see the other guy."

Spike frowned at seeing the damage. "Can you get up?"

"Yes. And no, you're not carrying me today. I've been taking care if myself for years and I can do it now."

"A bloody terrible job you've been doin’."

"Rude" you get up and start limping again.

Before you can get your footing Spike sweeps you up again. You protest but he hushes you. Again, incredulous. This man is sweet but is getting on your last nerve.

"Sorry love, can't let you waste away." He looks down at you. He notices how fragile you are in his arms, how good you feel so close to him, and how much power he has over you in this one moment.

He quickly looks up, trying to avoid your prodding gaze. "Tell me what happened."

"Simple. Demon had a club. I got cocky. He swung, broke my leg and I swung my sword and cut his head."

"Big fan of decapitation, I see."

"All in a night's work." You grinned.

"You say you’ve always taken care o’ yourself. Does every night end like this?"

"Most nights, yes. It’s just me and the big bad demons. I do get careless cause of the whole immortality bit."

He nods. You both reach your house. He gently puts you down on your feet. You sway and he catches you. You look up, your faces mere inches from each other. You take the time to admire his chiseled face, his sharp cheek bones and his blue eyes. All the while he enjoys getting reacquainted with the valley of your lips, and the deep hue of color in your eyes. He wonders how soft your lips really are. He pulls back at the thought and you almost stumble onto him. He steadies you, from a distance. You laugh at his reaction.

"Once again, thank you. You always seem to show up when I need you, and I appreciate that."

He nods, contemplating his next move. You turn to open, enter and close your door. However, Spike puts his foot on the door.

"I don't want you goin' out without me."

"Excuse me?" You're incredulous.

"Every time you're alone you get hurt. We can't have that now, can we? So, you're with me from now on."

You stand there speechless. Before you can retort he ends the conversation with "I'll pick you up at 9." And walks away.

The following night you wait for him, amused at how the night will turn out. A knock is heard in the distance. You open it to see Spike, your chaperone of the night.

"Good evening. Where to m'lady?"

You laugh at his antics. As you walk towards the woods you explain to Spike your goal for the night. To take down set of twin demons that have been trying to lure children to eat them. Spike is attentive and energized. He wanted to impress you. He wanted to prove to you that he was no sniveling child vampire. Just because there is an 800 year difference between the two of you, it doesn't mean that he's useless.

You both make it to an empty playground.

"Here?" Spike asks.

"Here." You confirm.

So, you sit and wait. Spike steals glances at you, hoping to catch your eye. He has never felt so small and shy. You turn to look at him and smile "nervous, baby boy?"

He is taken aback, speechless. Baby boy! You had some gal! He didn't know if to fight back or let you dominate him. Neither action came to fruition due to two big demons coming into view.

You stand ready, "show time, baby boy." You run up at the twin demons.

Spike needs a minute to rewire his thoughts and calm his feelings. Once reconnected he runs after you to back you up.

You both go on a head on collision with the demons. Spike is surprised at your direct approach. He can tell you're too focused on the win and not on your safety. He swoops in to play defense and keep you safe. While you work on slashing and punching, Spike works on blocking and moving you out of the way. You both work as a unit, fearless of what’s to come. Your bodies speak a language that only you two understand.

The demons are tired and bruised but you guys aren't done. Spike calls your name as he pushes one of the demons your way. Your sword is ready, and you stab into him with ease. Spike misses his cue as you call to him and the other demon attacks him, hurting him. You call to him one last time throwing your sword his way. He catches it with ease and stabs the demon multiple times. You're both triumphant.

You walk up to Spike to assess the damage.

"It's bleeding but not terrible" Spike states.

You nod and sling his arm around your shoulders. You both limp towards your house.

"Thank you. You were amazing." You compliment him.

He smirks, "You weren't half bad."

"If you hadn't been there those demons would've taken me out."

"I know" Spike smiles his shit eating grin.

You stop at your porch and Spike moves away from you. "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow night" and he starts walking away.

"Wait, I'm gonna patch you up." You stop him from moving farther away from you.

He freezes. "Love, I'd have to come in..." He trails off at the prospect of being in your home.

You chuckle. "I know." You stand inside your house. "Go ahead, ask."

He couldn't believe it. Dead heart be still. "Can I come in?"

"Nah."

Spike's jaw drops. Ridiculous. He feels like storming off until he hears you laugh which makes his blood boil.

"Wait! Don't leave. I’m sorry. Ask again. Please." You say trying to get your laughter under control.

He asks again, and you say yes. And he feels all the air, if any, leave his body. He was elated and giddy.

He saunters into your home as if it was his own. He takes in the space, the furniture.

"Take a seat, I'll be right back" you point to your couch.

You bring him a cup of water and a med kit. He is humbled at your gesture. So simple yet so loving.

"Take off your shirt." You say as you look through your med kit.

"Buy me a drink first, love" he chuckles and complies.

You make an annoyed face, but it’s quickly washed off at the sight at his body. He was breathtaking. Dips and valleys hidden under hard lines of muscles. You remind yourself to breathe. You refocus and go to tending his wound. You are careful, loving as your work on him.

He admires your gentle hands, So carefully caring for him. Buffy would never. Yet y/n will always. Always. He snaps back from his reverie as you apply the anti-septic to his wound. It stings.

"All new!" You state looking at your handy work.

"Thank you..." he mumbles as he pulls his shirt down.

"My pleasure. I mean, it was a pleasure to help. I mean not that I take pleasure in seeing your hurt. I mean - " Spike places his pointer and middle finger to your lips. A firm but gentle gesture.

"I know what you mean." He smiles, a genuine one. "I have to go now. The sun is rising."

As he turns away you pull at his duster. "Stay."

He turns slowly, in surprise of what he just heard.

"Stay" you repeat. "You can stay on the couch. It’s a pull out."

He makes eye contact. He steps closer, purposefully entering your personal space. One hand distracts itself by playing with your hair. The other ghosted over yours at your side.

He knew, in that moment, that you would look out for him no matter what. The woman he got to know before he knew her as the cursed slayer was still there. The attentive eyes, the smart mouth and the loving heart. All that he needed. He refuses to let himself drown in this feeling. Not yet. He needed time before he let himself swim in your waves of love. But there was no harm in taking a dip, just for tonight.

[eldritch-spouse]

[There's something in my drafts I'm hardly going to finish, so I'll just leave this here.]

Full: Option 1; Option 2

TW: Degradation; Public humiliation

You meet behind the local mall.

The same one he first stalked you in, of course. You're a sentimental sap, after all, but it also helps you remember to not feel bad about anything you do to Patches. He's just a creep, always been one, and creeps don't deserve anything.

Certainly not when they arrive 10 minutes after the scheduled time.

You watch him meekly trudge towards you, slightly shadowed by the more secluded nature of this location. Patches has the decency to look embarrassed, rubbing his own arm and refusing to make eye contact while his old boots all but drag on the rocky ground.

He listened to your advice from last time, at least, making an effort to look more normal by wearing only his shirt and pants. Putting aside the garish shoe wear and the fucking ridiculous hat he refuses to part ways with, he could almost blend in well enough with other monsters.

This style of clothing isn't his preference, if the way he's shrinking even more into himself is any indication.

" Oh goodie, look who finally decided to show up! "

The dullahan immediately starts scratching at the bold veins on his arms, irritating the pockets of magic beneath his skin.

" I- I'm so sorry, Ma'am. I didn't mean to be late- It's- My... " He chokes a little. " My work... There was a- "

" Did I ask for excuses? "

Your tone is your most powerful weapon. In the flip of a switch, sugary, sardonic babying can become a bitter, chilling warning. It always seems to catch the undead's breath.

" No, ma'am... "

" You know, this happens a lot Patches. I'm starting to think that maybe you don't want to see me at all. "

The words make him panic, wide sockets peeking from his downturned hat to gouge the seriousness of your words.

" Ne- Never never! I lov- "

" Then don't waste my time. " You smile. " Are you getting cocky because I happen to find you mildly entertaining? Do you think you have a shot with any woman out there? " You speak as if you're addressing a crippled animal. " Oh, you dumb little thing, there's nothing in that head except seeds, hm? "

There's already some color around his face. " ... Yes, ma'am. "

" Good. " Your hand reaches to pet him under the chin. " Good boy, we keep our expectations in reality, don't we? We know you're just a loser, and losers don't get to waste anyone's time. That's rude, isn't it? "

Just this once, you allow him to nod instead of verbally answering.

There's a silent beat, before one stocking clad leg raises and your heel collides with his knee, sending the monster tumbling down. It wasn't a particularly strong hit, just something to make him smarten up.

Properly trained, Patches stays down, looking up at you with poorly masked anticipation.

" Well come on, dummy. " A foot taps against the ground, shiny black pumps that he bought you, with a small moon-shaped jewel on the front. They're pretty, his eyes twinkle with happiness just looking at them on your feet. " We're not going home until I feel like you're sorry enough. "

Patches knows what to do. He flattens to the ground like no more than a worm. Anyone could realistically pass by this nook and see him prostrated before some woman, slimy green tongue out to polish already spotless shoes.

Annoyed, you swat that large hat away, putting it on yourself instead.

" My hat-! "

" How am I supposed to know if you're doing a good job if I can't see you? " He looks back down, defeated. " God, you're so stupid. "

That gets him to work. The dullahan is nothing if not dedicated, quickly getting into the task. He lavishes the sides of your pumps, tongue flirting with your skin and hands twitching on concrete when you warningly 'tsk'. The length of them is peppered in carved kisses, and he pays special attention to the jewels, huffing with what you already know to be pure neediness. His drool leaves a translucent yet slightly green sheen behind, which looks almost pretty under the light.

Or maybe you're just mildly depraved.

Not as much as Patches, at least.

" What a good job you're doing down there! " You coo, the same way you would at a golden retriever that just handed you its paw. " You've always been good at this, maybe it should be your new profession, hah. "

He makes some kind of breathy mewl, now just retracing his earlier work. You figure that's enough for now.

" Okay okay, stop, I can almost forgive you. "

Patches looks back up at you. " Almost M- Ma'am? "

" Stick your tongue out. "

He does, a rather lengthy magical muscle protruding from that gourd head. You suppose, had you the means to, you'd also give yourself a rather large tongue.

" On the ground. "

The undead makes a face, lowering it as told and likely getting a nasty flavorful of whatever filth has touched the concrete before.

One heel rises, the flat end of your sole perching against his face, the pointed end swiftly descending into that exposed clapper. You make sure to grind it in, sink it, hearing his garbled cries as Patches instinctively tries to retract his tongue. He doesn't know what to do with his own head while trapped like this, the lights in his sockets blurring when tears form around the edges, painting his face.

You don't stop until he's sobbing quietly, shaking yet defeated.

" There we go. I think I can like you again. You're always so obedient... "

Your heel punctured deep enough that you kind of have to give it a shake to release the dullahan's tongue. He makes another pained whine before moving back, holding the damaged muscle as it limply hangs off his wide mouth. It's a tad dirty, but the most striking detail is the hole on top of its flat surface, oozing some kind of thick gel that you can't quite call blood.

He rises awkwardly, back still curved, trying to wipe his own summoned tongue clean before putting it back in his mouth and swallowing his own magic.

" Huh, you could almost pierce it, pumpkin. I bet that'd look good on you. "

And like the flattery-hungry loser he is, Patches smiles faintly through the pain.

Your eyes rake down and find what comes as no surprise. He's already more than hard. In a way, it's kind of better this way, not having to work at all to get him in such a shameful state. You could give Patches a look, and he'd probably begin chubbing in seconds. The problem is keeping it that way, and preventing him from getting excited enough to end things prematurely. Your new pet won't become a disappointment, surely. Not if his discipline continues.

A decently sized cock strains against the tight fabric of his pants, already forming an unsightly patch -Hah- of wetness. You've always liked one thing about him. Well, that's a lie, you enjoy lots of things about Patches. But- The way the prominent veins along his body continue into his endowment is also very pleasing. It makes you want to hurry things along, in spite of your modus operandi of grinding out the maximum potential of every second in these encounters.

" Try not to ruin your pants before we get home, okay sweetie? " You mock. " Did you bring it, by the way? "

The dullahan nods frantically, waving his hands in front of him in a specific pattern that, upon the snap of his index and middle finger, summons forth a collar.

This velvet dark green circle with intricate leaf patterns on its exterior. Two small white jewels frame the silver hoop where the chained leash in your purse attaches. You spent some time designing this beautiful adornment, more time than he deserves really, oh but it's in your nature to be a perfectionist. There were some hiccups. Particularly around the fact that dullahans are apparently frightened by gold... Your first purchase was trashed immediately, needless to say.

Last time you met, Patches had forgotten his collar. This was a grave offense to you, punishable by sharply diminishing his time with you. See, to truly punish this undead, you can't just promise him pain or ruined pleasure, he enjoys those. To upset him, to make consequences tangible, you deny him your time- And it's wonderfully effective!

Exhibit A, Patches has remembered to bring his collar today, after the previous session lasting only half an hour.

" Good boy! Perfect. See? You can learn. " He actually preens at that. " Now put it on. "

When you clip the leash to the monster, he's staring deep into your eyes, sockets pulsing heart-shaped lights as his breath becomes shallow and hot. Oh yeah, he's checking out already.

Good.

" Walk. "

[buzzcutlip]

congrats on 100 maggie that’s amazing!! 🎉🫶🏻

could I request carmy with a single!mom reader and they’re still kinda fresh in their relationship and with both of their busy schedules it’s hard to have any alone time and whenever they’re trying to have privacy for adult fun time it keeps being interrupted by reader’s little one bc reader’s daughter loves carmy and they’re both going crazy but also love becoming a new lil family. I just keep thinking about how carmy would be with a little kid and how he’d take over the role of a stepdad-dad 😩

Thank you! :)

I would like to say that I love kids and I worked in childcare for years. However, I'm not much into kid fics - rarely read them and never wrote one! Your prompt got me thinking so I'm sharing my head canons about stepdad!Carmy (explicit stuff behind the cut!)

You're so scared to tell Carmy you're a mom because you've started having real feelings; it's not just fooling around anymore. When you finally share that you've got a little girl, you're sick to your stomach with nerves, worried about the possibility of being rejected or ridiculed. But Carmy surprises you—pleasantly—by not freaking out at all. He nods and asks a couple of basic questions: "How old is she? Who's looking after her when you two are together? What's her favorite Disney movie?"

Carmy does freak out—once he's at home. He barely sleeps that night, thinking of all the ways the "wrong" in him or with him could rub off on the little girl once they meet. Because he's a messed-up grown-up who has no clue how to behave.

You can't keep putting off Carmen meeting your daughter after four months of dating. You can't, and you don't want to. It takes a bit of effort before Carmen opens up about his difficult childhood and messed-up family. You assure him that it's not going to affect your daughter and promise him that you absolutely believe he's a good person.

Your little one is almost four, and she's independent, sassy, and loving, so she probably understands Carmy's hesitation and worries better than you do—without Carmen ever needing to say a word. She knows he's a chef—a cook—so she takes his hand and shows him her own wooden kids' kitchen. Carmy's eyes are huge and glassy when he looks up at you, and you hold back your own tears.

The first time you witness Carmy and your daughter cooking together (not in the kids' kitchen), your heart almost stops. You know how sacred the kitchen—any kitchen—is for him, as well as the whole process of meal prepping. They're just baking cookies, from what you can see over Carmy's broad back, flour everywhere, and he uses the softest voice on her: "You make a ball from the dough, that's right. Well done, chef," and "You got it, darling," and "Good job, good girl," followed by a high-five, your daughter giggling, clearly proud of herself.

That night, you ask Carmy to stay - the first time while your daugher is at home too - and he agrees, with a soft smile and a chaste kiss to your temple. You're a bit apprehensive about having sex, anxious about your little one overhearing something or waking up in the middle of it, but at the end it's you who asks Carmen for it. You beg him with your eyes, your hands and mouth, and who's he to say 'no'? The day had been emotional and the remaints of it hang between you as he fucks you on your back, staring into your soul, reaching there with his cock too. You're kinda trying to hurry up, Carmy thrusting into you with sharp movements that make you gasp out puffs of air between the two of you. He leans in to whisper into your ear "You're taking it so well, you would take my load so well, would you want another baby, hm?" His words surprise you and make you so hot that you come with a startle the next second.

Fuck, Carmy Berzzato wants a kid with you?

[utapri-translations-uuuu]

ASSMU Behind the Stage Ver.B [Natsuki, Syo, Ai, Nagi, Yamato] - Translation

Please do not repost/retranslate without permission.

Ai: It is interesting that towards the end of the song, when the 18 of us sing together, the position of the five of us splits into two, with me in the center.

Ai: On the right are Natsuki and Yamato, who are large and adult-like, and on the left are Syo and Nagi, who are small and cute.

Nagi: Nagi may be small and cute, but my feelings are the greatest, so I’ll make the audience more excited than anyone else.

Natsuki: Wah! You’re so lovely, Nagi-kun! Not only are you cute but you’re also cool! Gyuu!

Syo: W-Wait a minute!!

Nagi: Woah!

Syo: Wait, Natsuki! Don’t go hugging Nagi! If you’re gonna do that, it should be with the super cool me.

Natsuki: I understand. Of course, Syo-chan is always cute and cool too. Gyuu!

Syo: Argh! I got it, but-! You’re squeezing too hard!!

Nagi: Jeez, what are you two doing? It can’t be helped. Nagi will teach you how to hug more cutely. Come here for a second, Natsuki.

Natsuki: Okay. Is it okay if I just wait here like this?

Nagi: Yes. Lean down a bit more. Like that. Here we go. Gyuu~ Then let’s both look at Syo and wink! How was that?

Natsuki: It makes it look like we get along well, which is very good.

Syo: Wow, that was damn clean.

Yamato: Hey, Natsuki. If you have any energy left over, be my opponent.

Natsuki: Really? That sounds fun too.

Ai: That kind of thing should be done after practice, not now. Incidentally, I'm pretty confident in my own skills though.

Syo: I mean, I'm not losing either. I'm not talking about height or arm wrestling! What's needed for a live performance is spirit! I'm going to put my heart and soul into singing and dancing for my fans.

Yamato: Yeah, exactly. I can’t waste time. I need more stamina to put on the best live performance I can. Should I increase my training? First, 500 push-ups!

Syo: No, that's ridiculous. We finished practicing the basics and now it's time for the dance lesson.

Yamato: Don't be so rigid about something being a little out of order. Let's do it together! 1, 2, 3…

Syo: I haven't said I'm going to do it yet! Ah, damn it!

Yamato: 4, 5, 6…

Syo: 7, 8, 9, 10

Ai: Okay. I'll leave the push-ups to you two. Shall the rest of us go over the moves again?

Natsuki: Yes! That’s right, Nagi-kun. How about we try to incorporate a moment of interaction with the fans like we did just now in the song?

Nagi: That might be good. Let’s see…

Syo: (out of breath) Hey, don't just leave me like this, do something about it!!

Ai: (sigh) It can’t be helped… Yamato! Let's stop that for now. Since we're all here, let's all review the choreography together so that we're all in sync.

Yamato: Now that you mention it, you’re right. Got it.

Syo: Thank god! I'm so glad Ai’s here.

Natsuki: Ai-chan is our center not only in that part of the choreography but also figuratively.

Nagi: I guess I can kinda see it.

Yamato: Natsuki, that was a good line!

Syo: I feel like having Ai in the group gives it a nice balance. Let the five of us create a new harmony.

Ai: I think I understand what everyone is trying to say. Well, thank you. Now then, I think we should get back to the lesson. After this, Syo and Yamato will do push-ups. Let's start again from the beginning.

Yamato: Sounds good. It’s the perfect schedule.

Syo: Let’s do that. I’ll do my best!

Natsuki: Then I'd like to join in on the push-ups too.

[kimsohn]

jay (enha) +  giving the other a spoonful of the meal they’re cooking to test it out, holding their hand under their chin so nothing falls. 

sweet . jay x gn!reader about . 646 words, fluff warnings . kissing (?), lots of food mentions

a sharp clatter behind the living room startles you, and you turn around to see jay scratching his head, his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

"sorry love, i accidentally dropped the pot... again."

you know very well that he's especially stressed today, but it's not because he's your boyfriend and you know him so well, but rather you've heard one too many of his mishaps prior. the two of you were getting ready for a party to celebrate his successful comeback, and while you had conquered the decoration aspect (see: the colorful arrangement of balloons and banners hanging in the living room), jay was not so triumphant in attacking the cooking portion.

your boyfriend is an amazing chef, and the two of you know that. more than often it's hard to plan outside dates with your hectic schedules, so you usually find yourselves sandwiched together and munching on one of jay's delicacies in substitute of a restaurant dinner. the only reason he's having trouble today is because he decided to stray from the comfort of his specialty and tackle something new: desserts. specifically, tiramisu.

however, jay actually seems to be doing pretty well because the smell coming from the kitchen is delectable. his only issue is his nervousness, hence the racket in the kitchen every five minutes.

"are you sure you don't need help?" you ask, knowing very well he's doing just fine on his own and the only real assistance you could give him is a hug.

"actually, c'mere. you can taste this mascarpone filling and see if it's sweet enough."

with quick strides, you make your way over to jay's side, hoping that he can't see the eagerness in your eyes. you've always loved his food, even when he thought he added a little too much salt or burned it, and you know that his filling will be close to perfection.

he tilts your chin up slightly, scooping a spoon of the filling and bringing it to your lips. your heart warms at the gesture, your jay that is always so caring, and as you mouth the mixture he wipes the slight remnants of it that have lingered to the side of your mouth.

but you don't even have a chance to thank him, because the creamy delight that fills your mouth clouds all your senses. it's ridiculous how he even doubted himself, and you're five seconds away from telling him that professional chefs should be glad he chose the idol life. the concoction is as perfect as it can be, and the cook who made it is even more perfect, so much so that you don't even try to hide the smile that crosses your face.

"it's sweet enough. it's actually perfect, and i'm sure i would eat this alone if you gave me a bowl."

"really? are you sure? you know my members have at least one sweet tooth..."

"here, you want to try?"

you don't even give him a chance to respond before pulling down on his collar and engulfing him in a kiss, making sure he can taste the filling on your lips as if it was chapstick. when you pull away, he's bewildered and flustered, and you both have matching blushes scattering across your faces at your boldness.

"you were right, it was pretty sweet," jay says, "but i can't tell if that's because of the sugar or your lips."

it's safe to say the filling is long forgotten when he leans in for another kiss, but at least the other members are content with jay's finished product when they stroll in an hour later as you both try to hide your swollen lips and mussed-up hair.

"what's your secret ingredient to making your food taste good?" jake asks, trying to sneak another bite of the dessert.

jay smiles at you knowingly, your shared secret drifting through the air.

"love."

[dropitlikeapeong]

Waiting for You: Chapter 4- It's really over, isn't it?

Genre: EVEN MORE angst (atp we should be used to it)

CW: Mentions of cheating. More arguing. More swearing. More crying. Seeun is an asshole (Im sorry to my serangdoongies). Y/n is mad as hell for a minute (AS THEY SHOULD BE). Implied sexual relations (nothing explicit, literally the words "spent a night together") Seeun hurts Y/n (gripping your wrist tightly). Let me know if there's more that I'm leaving out.

A/n: FINALLY AN UPDATE WE ALL CHEERED! I'd like to apologize again for keeping you all waiting for this long but yay chapter 4 is finally here, and chapter 5 is not too far behind.

I apologize in advance, to all my Seeun stans, this one's gonna hurt.

As always, likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Enjoy!

From coming in late to work, upsetting your co-workers and friends, catching a nasty and uncalled for attitude from your ex, accidentally landing one of the boys in the hospital causing him to miss an important schedule, finding out said ex has likely been playing you throughout your whole relationship with another celebrity, also finding out there might be a little more that story since your boss seems to know a lot more than he's letting on and being forced to go to therapy or else you'd lose your job and get sued, safe to say today had been exhausting.

You felt physically and emotionally drained and really just needed to sleep off the events of today. Fortunately you don't have work tomorrow, or any day after that unless you see that stupid therapist.

You definitely felt horrible about what happened with Hunter but therapy? Seriously? But if that's what is needed for you to keep your job, so be it. You wonder if you'd be allowed to visit him, to maybe apologize in person. Hunter always goes on about how you're his favorite out of all their staff, He'd understand you didn't mean for that to happen right?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the elevator beeping, letting you know you've reached your floor. The doors open and you let out an irritated sigh at the unexpected guest standing at your doorstep.

Technically, it isn't unexpected, you were warned that someone would be picking up your ex's things, although he never mentioned who would be doing the pick up. Considering all of the people he could've called, this was just ridiculous.

"Why are you here?"

Seeun jumps a little at your voice turning to face you.

"Don't scare me like that! Gosh, you almost gave me a heart attack."

You continue staring at him blankly while he avoids your eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Why are you here?" You ask him again.

"You sound like a tape recorder. 'Why are you here' haha, I'm sightseeing, obviously." His laugh is uncomfortable and awkward.

"This is a really nice apartment complex." He remarks, looking around the empty hallway. "I might just move in here someday." Another awkward laugh follows. Then silence.

One thing you know about your ex, is that he is either really horrible at reading the room, joking around when it was time to be serious, or he's really good at playing dumb when he knows he has fucked up. But with the day you've had today, you couldn't care less about which of those he was doing.

"It's very quiet this side of town isn't it?"

"Seeun go home."

You go to unlock your door and he moves out of your way.

"I came to get my things." he mutters, you roll eyes barely sparing him a glance.

"Maybe lead with that? I'm not in the mood for any shit right now." You open your door stepping inside leaving it open for him. He just stands at your doorway, a small pout on his face.

"You won't invite me in?" He laughs giving you a lopsided smile.

A smile that would've had you weak in the knees back then. A smile you would usually return with one of your own. Maybe a little giggle, because it would instantly cause him to start giggling too. A smile you loved seeing at times like these, where you felt like your world was crumbling, as it always made you feel so much better.

A smile that now causes your eyes to start brimming with tears. A smile that makes you feel like your throat is closing up, and causes bile to rise up from your stomach.

A smile that now repulses you.

He shifts uncomfortably at your glare. "Tough crowd I guess." he mumbles stepping inside, closing the door behind him.

"So... Can I start in the bedroom? You took a LOT of my hoodies-"

"Take what you're here for and leave, Seeun."

He huffs at your cold response.

"I'm not here to fight with you, Y/n. There's no need for all of this."

"There wasn't any need for you to be a dick towards me all day, yet that still happened."

"Oh come on, you're still mad about that?" He scoffs.

"You can't keep taking everything so personally Y/n."

He sighs shaking his head.

"Look, I have things to do-"

"-Like Areum?" You cut him off and he freezes at that. You feel his eyes on your back.

He knows that you know. Did he seriously expect you not to find out after both his and her company released public statements? it's quite literally the only thing k-netizens are talking about right now.

Though xikers may not be a really big name in Korea, Areum on the other hand is practically the nation's princess, one of YG Entertainment's top models with an impressive reputation, and several brand ambassadorships under her belt. Already having garnered a large fan base after only one year since her modeling debut, the news of her having a boyfriend would most definitely have her fans going crazy.

You could've liked Areum too at some point. She seemed to be a sweet girl. She was always lovely towards her fans and her staff. Very polite and respectful in front of the cameras. You do not doubt that she was likely even sweeter behind the scenes as well.

Unfortunately, the chance that her and Seeun have likely been seeing each other since your relationship with Seeun started, leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

He clears his throat harshly, an attempt to compose himself.

It seems you've caught him off guard.

"That's none of your business."

Now it's your turn to scoff. He has some nerve. You turn to face him and he has the audacity to look mad at you. As if this was your fault.

"Congrats on that by the way. Although I would've appreciated a little heads up that you've been two-timeing me our whole relationship."

His eyes widen in shock. He opens his mouth to speak but immediately closes it again, his facial expression neutral.

"It wasn't like that." You scoff at his words.

"Could've fooled me."

"Y/n don't." He grits out, avoiding your eyes.

"I really was just a joke to you, wasn't I?"

"For fucks sake it wasn't like that!" His loud voice causes you to flinch.

Throughout your relationship he has never raised his voice at you. Sure he was loud and yelled often, within your vicinity. But he has never yelled at you. He loved you too much for that. Perhaps he still does with how he instantly looks regretful at what he just did.

"Then what was it like Seeun? What you're telling me and the way you're treating doesn't match up. So what am I supposed to believe?"

"It-I-" He exhales deeply hands over his face, clearly at a loss for words. Or at a loss in general.

In this moment he no longer looks at you with a snarky glare, or a cruel smirk. He just looks lost. He looks like the boy you fell in love with again.

It reminds you of the conversation you had with the CEO.

Something about an arrangement.

You take a step closer to him.

"Seeun?" he looks up at you, a nervous look on his face. Like he's scared of something.

That gives you a small glimmer of hope. That this was all that it was, an arrangement for publicity's sake.

But why couldn't he just tell you that? Was a breakup necessary?

"Seeun, what is going on?" You slowly take another step closer, and hold his hand. He lets you.

"Please, just talk to me. What is this arrangement Mr. Kim mentioned?" He looks startled by your question but doesn't pull his hand away.

"It's about you and Areum right?" He doesn't answer you, nor does he pull away from you.

Instead, he pulls your hand towards his lips and plants a small peck on your fingers, mumbling something inaudible.

"What?" He finally looks into your eyes, with a blank expression.

"I liked the date." You stare at him, utterly confused.

"...What?" He gives you a small smile.

"March 22nd. It's a nice date. It's cute... And very believable considering we were at the same event together around that time."

"Seeun that's- no but it-I-" You feel overwhelmed, a bad feeling creeping into the pit of your stomach. They couldn't have picked a different date? One that wasn't yours and his' anniversary?

"Seeun that's ours. It's our date, That's when we started dating, not-"

"I need you to know-" he cuts you off gripping your hand a little tighter, "-after I left last night, I went to Areum's place."

Your feel your heart sink at that.

"We spent the night together and... we're dating now."

You feel nauseated, his tight hold on your hand is now uncomfortable. Why hasn't he let go yet? You try to pull away from him but he only holds on tighter.

"I need you to understand something, Y/n." His grip on your hand, is now painful. He pushes your chin up with a finger, making you look into his eyes.

"What I had with you, is nothing compared to what I have with Areum."

Your eyes are already brimming with tears. You try to move out of his hold but he only pulls you back. A cruel grin on his face.

"You want a reason for why we broke up? Here it is; I don't love you."

The tears slowly roll down your face. He sees them, and laughs.

"Cry all you want, I'm only telling you the truth."

His tone is mocking as you stare up him, with teary eyes and a trembling lip.

You should've never let him in. You should've never allowed him into your home. You should've told him to leave, fetch his things when you weren't at home. You shouldn't have said yes to dating him. You shouldn't have let him into your heart.

"My arrangement with Areum, has nothing to do with you, so stay out of it." He finally let's you go, yanking his hand away from yours, as if he's disgusted by your touch. Your hand now stings from how tight he held it.

"Get that into your head, and never forget it; I do not love you. You're nothing to me."

He leaves you in the living room, heading off to your bedroom to collect his belongings.

"One more thing," It seems he still wants to rub some salt in the wound.

"I don't appreciate you or anyone referring to my relationship with Areum as an 'arrangement'. I don't care who you heard it from, don't ever disrespect my girlfriend like that again."

He heads off into your room closing the door behind him.

You collapse onto your couch and finally break down, heavy sobs escaping you.

You really wish you had just told him to leave...

<previous chapter :: next chapter>

[hum-suffer]

Grihlakshmi 2

(part 1 here)

Lakshay notices how silent Vini is instantly.

She finishes breakfast with quips that are so practised that she doesn't even have to think about them and smirks when they talk about her— like she usually does. It's nothing out of ordinary and yet Lakshay knows that she's disturbed. Anyone would be, really. She doesn't normally give a fuck about what anyone says but Lakshay knows her.

He knows that she's more afraid of men than she's afraid of carnivorous animals. He knows that she's instantly scared when she's in the vincity of a man she doesn't know. He has her live location on his phone always and so does Savitri— because she doesn't trust transportation. She never falls asleep at new places if one of them isn't around her and she has a can of homemade pepper spray and a ridiculously expensive safety keychain.

So, he makes obnoxiously loud noises as he nears her after breakfast— Harsh's absolutely not subtle look engraved in his mind. She turns to look at him, walking lesuirely down the hallway. She slows her pace to let him catch up to her and his heart skips at the simple and obvious gesture.

"Thik, Chaudhary ji?" She asks with a smile. She suddenly looks tired and she realises she already has a fucked up sleep schedule because of her internship and add the travel to that— she mustn't have gotten any decent sleep in the last week.

He purses his lips. He's still furious enough that if that idiot had been in front of Lakshay as he said that, Dev Tyagi would not be walking on his own two legs. He's furious enough, that if they lived in the same city, Dev Tyagi would have to leave the city overnight.

He'd even kept quiet on insults over Rachit, as his friend had told him to let it go, but Medha? His Vini? His Grihlakshmi?

Any insult to her is not allowed, not even accidentally.

He pulls himself out of those thoughts as he feels the concerned tapping of Medha's fingers on his wrist. He smiles at her,"Ji hum toh aap ke sath aate hi thik ho jate hai."

Medha chuckles and he pulls her fingers from his wrist to interwine their hands. He holds their hands loosely for a moment and when she doesn't flinch or show any signs of discomfort, he tightens his grip. He's pleasantly surprised when she squeezes their hands back.

"I'll be alright, Lakshay." She says softly as they enter the gardens behind the hotel. It has a ridiculous range of flowers— including hibiscus, roses, and all the other ones that he doesn't recognise. He follows her obediently as she leads them to a swing, hidden under the branches of what looks like a chiku tree.

She settles down first and he sits, trying to maintain some sort of comfort inducing distance between them, but hypocritically doesn't leave her hand. To his surprise, she shifts a bit closer. They're not touching by any means other than their hands, but he doesn't have to extend his arm to sit comfortably with their hands between them.

It feels surreal— holding her hand. She probably doesn't realise what gifts she's giving him. The feel of her hand in his, her silver ring clicking against his gold band and her old watch reflecting his kalawa. He doesn't think he will ever get over the deliciously rough texture on her palm, especially the one area where she must have used ittar— it's rougher than the rest of her palm.

"I will be fine, Laksh," she whispers softly. "That boy doesn't mean shit. I'm just baffled right now. I'm insulted, but his actions do not have any consequences in my life. He doesn't matter."

Lakshay nods jerkily and agrees,"No, he doesn't. You do. You matter. Let us get back home and I'll see to the end of this spat."

Medha smiles and shifts again, closer. She's spoiling him with so much skinship, he knows. He will crave of her presence as soon as she shifts far. But he basks in her presence. He forces himself to not overreact when she rests her temple against the ball of his shoulder. The contact is minimal, but it's enough to drive him mad.

He could live like this for the rest of his life.

"I trust you," she says, as if the moment wasn't already perfect. Now, it's beyond perfect. He looks at her, trying to completely engrave and carve the feeling as well as the scene in front of his eyes.

He takes a bit more liberty, squeezes their hands and pulls them on his thigh. He doesn't know how to show her just how much he appreciates the words. Lakshay's never been all that great at articulating his feelings and Medha makes it even harder to speak— because he's always so busy feeling every moment with her.

Medha smiles like she knows what he meant to do. Her smile is something of a sight to behold, and Lakshay thinks he understands what the poets and lyricists mean when they talk about worshipping one's love.

Lakshay would do absolutely anything for any scrap of attention he may get from Medhasvini, and he's absolutely unashamed of the fact.

It's time to show it to the world.

____________________________________________________

He vlogs for the time it takes Vini and Savitri to get ready— he's a fast person to get ready and the rest of them had already been up and about by breakfast.

"Dekho baat ab ye ho rakhi hai," he says sounding casual even as he's serious,"Ki na, baat ab mere dosto pe bohot badh gayi hai. Usne kal bola, main kuch nahi bola. Thik hai bhai, haq tha uska, jali thi uski. Mujhse hatt ke vo Rachit ke piche gaya aur maine kuch nahi bola. But baad mein, vo Vini ke piche pada." He gives a cool smile to the camera. "Ye acceptable nahi hai. Toh beta, samay hai. Ye vlog upload ho ne ke do ghante ke andar Medhasvini, Rachit, Samrat bhai, sabse maafi mang lo. Varna pitaji apni pe aa gaye na, na tumhari personal life rahegi aur na online life. Tameez pe vapas aa jao. Tumko tumhare Mata pita acche sanskar dena bhul gaye ho toh vo Kami hum Puri kar denge. Kya samjhe?"

Vini enters the room just as he's stopped speaking and he almost stops breathing. She looks utterly gorgeous. She's wearing the kurti that he got her two weeks ago and he'd been SO right— the powder pink suited her beautifully. The blue dupatta perfectly matches the designs on the hem of the otherwise plain kurti, and the bangles she's wearing in her right hand are a perfect mix of blue and pink. He thanks his stars again, as he sees her blush and smile. God knows he never deserves someone as good as her, even as a friend.

Harsh takes the phone from his hand and Lakshay barely notices it as he stands and Vini walks towards him with a grin, singing,"Kya dekhte ho?"

"Surat tumhari," he sings back, voice horribly out of tune. But it seems to please her. He raises his hand,"Close your eyes for a moment, Vini."

And it's a testament to the trust that she has for him that she doesn't even question him beyond an eyebrow raise but closes her eyes. Carefully, he swipes his finger at the corner of her right eye, checks, and puts the extra kohl behind her ear, his fingers brushing against her jhumka.

The blush on her cheeks is reward enough for the way his heart is beating out of his chest.

"Tujhe nazar lag jayegi kabhi," he says, voice almost weak.

She looks down, smiles in that way she does when she's shy and trying not to smile too hard.

Lakshay feels like he's accomplished everything good in his life.

"Chalein?" Savitri says and he startles. He didn't even hear her enter the room.

He knows for a fact that almost all of his friends will tease him about this— Akshit, bless him, will just ogle from the sidelines.

But he doesn't mind the endless teasing, not when Vini slips her hand in crook of his elbow as they walk towards the lift.

____________________________________________________

Savitri, Samrat bhai and Vini are absolute nightmares to bring at flea markets. Savitri will like something and bargain for half an hour to get it at a 5% discount. Samrat Bhai will buy the most 'I am a Middle Aged Man without Aesthetics for home decor but wish for all Aesthetics accumulated into one' kind of things and Medha, as much as he loves her, will waste her time ogling every pretty and minimalist piece of jewelry that she sees but won't buy anything unless pestered.

Rachit, Akshit, Harsh and Lakshay trail behind them, planning Lakshay's upcoming stand up show and vlogging.

"Main soch raha, year end me ek international trip karte hai. Kya khyal hai bhaiyo?" Harsh asks, appearing honestly invested in the idea,"Vaise bhi bohot time se kahi bahar nahi gaye, we'll have some fun."

Lakshay is about to answer in affirmative when Medha calls for him. Rachit gives him a shit eating grin and elbows him in the ribs, singing that IPL tune,"Come on, bulava aaya hai!"

Lakshay can't control his blush and chuckle as he walks over to Medha, who's standing at another shop of jewelry and looking over bangles. She points distractedly at a set of silver coloured metal bangles bangles and another set of oxidised bangles. "Which ones?" She asks,"Your choice is better than mine."

Lakshay is inclined to agree— he chose her to be his friend, excellent fucking choice, best one of his life. And she chose him to be her friend and really, what's a girl like that doing with a guy like him?

He knows she likes bangles, bought her a whole set of them on her birthday recently and he also knows that she has neither oxidised nor silver bangles. He doesn't really care much for the looks of the bangles but he knows she doesn't like oxidised ones as much. She doesn't like the hype created and thinks it gives a look that isn't as polished. But these bangles are smoother and they have little jhumars in them that must make noise as she'd wear them.

Distantly, he's aware of Harsh pulling his leg while he takes so much time to decide his preference for bangles and hears Savitri joke about burning a hole into the bangles but his eyes are fixed on Medha as she tries to try on a earring that is shaped in a butterfly way and must be impossible to put on without mirrors.

"Why don't you even have mirrors here, bhai ji?" She mutters to herself, too polite to say such a thing to the shop owner.

Lakshay smiles,"Main madad kar du?"

"Please."

He stands behind her, and pulls her braid away from that side of her neck to create room and checks that it is indeed a hoop type of closing before he gently slips the earring in her lobe. She hisses and he mutters a quick apology almost absentmindedly and locks the earring in place.

Medha checks the reflection of the earring in her phone's blank screen and makes a weird sound that is somehow extremely adorable. She makes the sound when she's way too happy to contain herself.

"It looks really pretty, I'm going to be obsessed with this. I'm buying this." She mutters to herself, opening the camera on her phone to again see the way it actually looks. Lakshay sees the absolutely besotted look he's wearing as he stands behind her and before he can correct it, Medha clicks a picture.

"I hope that picture is blurry!" He says in petty retaliation.

Medha pinches his forearm lightly. "Bangles?"

"Silver ones."

Lakshay keeps the butterfly earrings aside after he helps her remove them. The shopkeeper grabs the bangles and forwards his hand, asking Medha's hand to let him slide the bangles up her hand.

Normally, Lakshay doesn't interfere in anything Medha does, but the way she cows towards him and her shoulder brushes against his chest and he feels the tremor down her back— he splays his hand over the small of her back and smiles at the shopkeeper,"Aap rehn diyo, bhaiya ji, main kar deta hu na. Aap ye earrings pack kar do."

The man nods back with a smile and moves aside. Lakshay looks quizzically at Medha, because he knows she's capable of doing it herself and he won't control her decisions. She removes her watch from her wrist and forwards her hand towards him.

Lakshay doesn't think he can ever feel as content as he does in this moment, holding her wrist lightly as he helps her wear the bangles.

He wiggles his eyebrows in question and she smiles shaking her head sideways in a pleased manner.

He catches the shop owner give them both a smile as Lakshay strong arms Medha into letting him pay for the earrings and bangles.

"Let me spoil you," he says as they regroup with their friends, taking the plastic bag from her hand,"Main agar tujhe khush nahi rakhunga toh kya hi karunga?"

"Sath chala kar tu bas, main khush ho jaungi," she replies and Lakshay wonders if it'd be too much to call her the reason for his existence.

____________________________________________________

"Tujhe meri bandi bola tha na," he says when the camera is back in his hand and Medha is walking beside him, recording Samrat bhai push Akshit on a swing.

Medha hums, her trepidation clear, but she trusts him to take the conversation to a better place.

"Toh tujhe aise hi treat karta hu jaise ladkiyo ko karna chahiye, hai na?"

The idea is horrible and he will murder Savitri for letting him even think that it was a good idea. Maybe he can just apologise ASAP and cut off this part of the vlog, it was so insensitive of him—

Medha shifts until she's plastered to his side and it is certainly NOT helping him think straight anymore. Her lips curl in a sly smile,"Kya matalab ki tu wait kar Raha hai ki teri khubsurat bandi ko tera hi koi dost pata ke le jaye?"

The smile on her face is infectious and he has a harder time than strictly necessary to control his own laughter at the ridiculous idea. The boys will cut and bleed for her— she's their best friend, mother, sister, everything but a lover. And Savitri will probably kill Lakshay himself if it makes Medha happy, not that Lakshay would protest.

But he plays along,"No, no, I cannot have that. Who will market me like a Mercedes if another boy takes you away from me, because of course you don't have an opinion of your own."

He wraps his arm loosely around Medha's waist as he turns to his friends. "Nazar bhi nahi aani chahiye meri bandi pe. Uski life me koi mard nahi hona chahiye, main idhar se leke Jaa Raha hu usko."

He sniffs and adopts an arrogant look on his face. Harsh is barely stopping himself from laughing but nods,"Sure, sure. I'm here just to have her value as your beautiful girlfriend, why would we care about anything but wanting women?"

Medha snorts and hides her face in his shoulder as she laughs. It's a habit she's had for years, she hides her face when she laughs. It's just that right now, her hands are full with the bags that hold some or the other things.

He realises how remiss he's been.

Lakshay takes the bag in her right hand. She resists a little bit he looks lazily at her, his hand still holding the handles of the bag. She knows that he's stubborn. She rolls her eyes as she releases the bag.

Samrat Bhai nears them with raised eyebrows, Lakshay is never touchy with anyone but Medha, yes, but even this contact is way too much for them.

Deciding to fuck with him, because he hadn't been hearing them, Lakshay grins at him,"Bhai main aur meri bandi jaa rahe hai Naya Ghaat. Aap sab apna apna dekh lo, main isko aadmiyo ke sath nahi rehne dene wala."

Samrat Bhai sputters with wide eyes and looks between them, blinking owlishly. "Aayein?"

Medha, an equal menace, says,"Chalo ji bye!"

"How dare you speak without my permission?" Lakshay says, giving her a half smile. He can't control hai goddamn smiles around her.

"Oops," she says unapologetically,"Please don't dump me for another girl."

And all Lakshay can think is; leaving her in any capacity will make his life bleak. It will make him shrivel and it will make him older than he is, it will make him just stop enjoying a lot of things.

He would probably let her get away with murder, he thinks hysterically as he says farewell to the rest of their friends on autopilot.

Medha giggles when they're walking away, eyes crinkled and cheeks red. "I think this is the best fun I'm gonna have in the year."

Yes, he thinks in a daze, he will absolutely hide the body and give a false testimony, should she need it.

____________________________________________________

@roseberrylight (tagging you because you're the reason i wrote more hehe. I hope you like it!)

[randomthefox]

The ironic thing about the Archie Adventure adaptation is that its one of the few times they actually HAD to play the game! Sega mandated that the comic actually be an advertisement again, but then didn't actually provide anything for Penders and Bollers to work off of. They were only able to do as much as they did thanks to Spaz, who had already decided to import the game, played through it while taking notes, and rough translated the script before sharing it with the team. This led to improv issues like Tikal having a different design at first, the Black Emerald, Station Square being a hidden city, the Felidae, Gamma not dying, and the servers being seven Chao, but hey, at least they did what they could to represent the story of the game.

It's so funny to me whenever people bring this up as a way of trying to criticize SEGA. "omg they expected Archie to adapt the games, but didn't even provide them with a free copy of the game for free!"

Like wow, yeah, they expected the comic titled Sonic The Hedgehog to actually resemble the video game Sonic The Hedgehog? That thing they were probably assuming the comic was already doing the entire time anyway?

I mean if I was SEGA, I would have figured that the creators behind the comic were ALREADY buying and playing the games? Because they're making a fucking Sonic comic? So when I ask them directly to do that for Sonic Adventure, my thinking would be that I'm asking them to do something that they were already going to do anyway, but just coordinate with the official marketing release schedule in the process.

But when talking about Archie people always bring that up as if it's some kind of unreasonable unfair oppressive demand from SEGA. And all that does from where I'm sitting is expose their bias aka they hate the video games and hate SEGA and are shameless mindless Archie Snapes who's opinion has absolutely no fucking merit whatsoever.

It's also a completely ridiculous story because they could have just said no. Like, what was SEGA gonna do? Cancel the licensing agreement? Nothing was stopping them from just not doing it. Why are they acting like SEGA had a gun to Ken Penders underage lover's head threatening to pull the trigger unless they did the comic storyline?

It's just so funny to me because every time people bring up that incredibly bias anecdote as a transparent attempt to slander SEGA/Sonic Team and rustle up sympathy for the poor widdle Archie writers, my reacting is always "wow, the writers of Archie were a bunch of fucking douchebags." Like I'm sorry but how do you hear that story and come away from it NOT thinking that the Archie comic writers aren't a bunch of spoiled fucking brats?

News flash dickheads, SONIC DOESN'T FUCKING BELONG TO YOU. This comic exists AT ALL by the good grace of the people who ACTUALLY OWN the property you're writing for. The fact that said owners were hoping for a bit of cross media promotional marketing for their flagship game for their brand new hardware that they sunk a LOT of money into (look up that story about the SEGA executive who basically killed himself to get the Dreamcast out the door if you want to cry) is PRETTY FUCKING REASONABLE from where I'm sitting especially considering THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT COMIC IN THE GOD DAMN FIRST PLACE!

Holy FUCK I fucking hate Archie Sonic and I hate everyone who fucking likes that piece of shit comic even more.

[harrisongslimited]

George Chapter of the Day #7

I Saw Her Standing There

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, adult situations, slow romance brewing, smoking.

Thank you to picture owner.

Chapter 7

The weeks flew by. Shooting was done, and the concert was scheduled for the following Friday. Joie was constantly on the go. Out to the pubs with Freda. Lunch with Cyn...and George took her everywhere...or anywhere she wanted to go. The more time she spent with him, the closer they became.

Joie woke to the sounds of the ever-constant chirping birds outside her bedroom window at Freda's. The night before, she and George laughed the night away, sharing fish and chips and a beer, at a little dive he frequently visited.  She even tried eating fish for George's sake, but one chew turned into a huge gulp, Joie shaking her head furiously, her hand signaling that she still wasn't a fish fan. The chips were good though, so she filled up on those.

When Joie finished her beer and was about to explode chips all over the sidewalk, George took her hand and walked her back to the car.  His hands were delicious. Strong, Gentle. She thought about her feelings for him, but she knew she was leaving in another couple weeks and figured not much could really happen between them. He was...well, a Beatle. She was just Joie.

From Freda, Joie began to learn about managing a wildly popular rock band. Freda was almost on her own, opening mail by the hundreds, sorting what belonged to who and what should be pitched into the trash. One Saturday, Joie offered to help Freda when she needed to go into the office to catch up.

Freda hugged her. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" she replied.

..........

 Joie was stunned by the amount of mail. Thousands came in every day. Thousands of pieces of mail. Asking for autographs, asking for locks of hair, asking for a Beatle to come to a birthday party. And things came in by the hundreds. Panties, bras, teddy bears, pillows. Handmade gifts.

"My Lord, Freda. What do you do with all this stuff?" Joie asked. "How can you possibly answer all this mail?"

"The boys help when they come in. Sign special things, do things for me. They are all very good about that. They really care about their fans."

"But this..." Joie pointed to the thousands of letters.

"I know" Freda answered, wiping her forehead. "At least I have a staff now. Before it was just me. We still don't have enough people to help. I talked to Brian about it. We need more help."

"Well, you've got an extra pair of hands today, Freda. Tell me what I can do." Joie said, rolling up her sleeves.

Freda grinned. "You don't know what you are getting yourself into...."

Joie touched her arm. "I'm ready. You name it."

"Well, just start opening mail. Requests for signed pictures go in this pile. People who want to be part of the fan club go in this pile. Ridiculous requests go in that pile. The sexy ones and requests for a Beatle baby go into the garbage. Don't have time for that nonsense. There are plenty of honest, caring fans who need our attention."

"Got it," Joie acknowledged.

"And for Lord's sake, watch out for paper cuts!"

Joie laughed.

Brian did not. He stood at the office door and surveyed his kingdom. "And Miss Kelly, when did we get more help without my knowledge?"

"Oh, Mr. Epstein, this is Joie Armagh. She's friends of the boys who is staying with me. Remember....California?"

Joie remembered the weak handshake but still extended a hand.

"Hi Mr. Epstein. Nice to see you again."

Brian nodded at her and weakly shook her hand. "But why is she working?"

Freda's eyes darted from Joie to Brian and back again. "Oh, she's just opening letters. Just to help. She came into the office with me today to volunteer her time."

"Nice to have you, Miss Armagh, but you will have to leave. There are confidential matters being conducted here and we can't have strangers in the office."

His cool smile made Joie grimace. Joie tucked her short hair behind her ears and stood up straight.  "Absolutely, I understand," she said in agreement. "I will be leaving immediately. I didn't mean any harm."

"I'll meet you for lunch," Freda told her softly. "Barney's across the street. 1pm."

"Got it!" Joie said as she collected her purse and made her way out of the North End Music Store offices.

..........

The Beatles went about their business, putting the movie together and creating a sound track. Joie didn't see much of them, but talked regularly to George, who seemed to have taken the role of her big brother. At least that's what she thought. But he called Freda one day and invited them both to his mum's house for dinner.

"You will adore his mum and dad," Freda informed her. "They are absolutely wonderful. Funny, sweet, and mum is a master chef. She could make filet mignon out of horse leather."

Freda drove, stopping first at the florist for some flowers for George's mum and then the chemists, picking up  the tobacco that George said his dad smoked in his pipe. The 2 women then headed north, talking about life in America versus life in England.

"I love it here," Joie told her. "I can't believe I'm going home in less than a week. The time just flew by. And you've been so kind to me. I don't know how to thank you."

"It's been nice having you, "Freda told her. "I wish you could stay longer."

"Me too!"

"Have you thought about staying? I mean, seriously?"

"Umm, maybe once or twice. I went so far as to apply for a Nursing Grant to study England's National Health system. It would give me another few months....but I haven't heard anything yet."

..........

George's family home was warm and friendly. His mum had a nice dinner waiting for them when they arrived, but they decided to sit and talk as they waited for George.

"He's always late you know," his mother told her and Freda as they sat in the kitchen. "Always. Even as a little boy."

"What was he like as a little boy?" Joie asked.

"Always focused on the guitar. Practicing, practicing all the time. Then all of them would come over and make such a racket. But I loved having them. I can't believe they have had the success they had. Things didn't look so promising when they were sent back from Germany."

Louise Harrison told them about their Hamburg days and George getting kicked out because he was underage. "That was the low point. I didn't think they would stay together after that. But things just seemed to move along and now...."

The front door suddenly swung open and George popped in, combing his wind-blown hair with his fingers. He smiled at his mum and dad and Joie could see there was a genuine affection between all of them and she felt right at home. George seemed different. Calmer, more open. Joie studied him as he kissed his mom and greeted his father Harry. Then he greeted Freda and Joie.

"Can I talk to you Joie? Outside for a minute"? he asked with a serious expression.

Joie thought for sure she was going to get a lecture about going to NEMS with Freda and offering to open mail. Suddenly she giggled to herself. She wondered if she'd get a spanking too? Maybe if she asked??

She followed him into the backyard for a cigarette and a talk by the swing that was surrounded by lovely flowering plants of all colors and shapes. It was a place for romance, if you asked Joie, not a stern talking-to.

He turned and offered her a cigarette, lit them both and took a deep drag. Joie was wondering if he was summoning up the courage to let her have it. 

Then he cleared his throat and started. "We...John, Paul and Ringo too, would like you to stay in England if you want to. We can arrange for a 6 month work pass. We had to prove that you could do a job for us that no English bird could do. And we came up with an answer: American Consultant. That's what you would be. You'd work with Brian at NEMS, help Freda with the American fan mail, help us before we tour the states. We have several tours coming up and you'd be a great organizer."

Joie's eyes grew to the size of saucers. She, for the first time in her life, was speechless. "I...I... don't know what to say....," she answered a bit shaky. "I mean I'd love to. But I have family and responsibilities back in California."

"I know. That's why I thought we'd try it for 6 months. I mean, if you like it here, it would be a great way to earn money, travel, learn the business...." George seemed to be chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"Well, you don't have to ask me twice," Joie finally broke into a big smile. "I'd love to stay....but I'd hate to keep imposing on Freda..."

"We'll figure that out since you accepted the job. We'll get you a car because you will be running errands for us. It's getting too hard for us to do it ourselves....even in London."

"I thought that's what Mal did," Joie laughed.

"He'll be on tour with us. We will all be gone for awhile starting in a month or so. But we'd ask you to come to America with us. Show us the ropes. And then come back to England. At the end of the 6 months, you can go back home, or we can get you a permanent visa."

"George," Joie hesitated before continuing. "Whose idea was this?"

George looked at her straight in the eye. "We decide together. We stick together. We might fight, but we are family and John, Paul and Ringo are the ones I trust and rely on. We'd never make a decision without everyone agreeing."

"Well," Joie said, "I'd need to call my dad. I'd need to get an extension from school...."

"Can you do that?"

Joie nodded. "I'm pretty sure I can. I've applied for a grant to study the National Health system."

"Well, call your dad and see what he says and let me know." George continued. "We would love to have you stay on for awhile. You are a big help."

Joie laughed slightly. "But I haven't done anything, George..."

He looked at her sadly for a moment. "You've been a good trusted friend. And those are few and far between these days."